The amazing thing, really, is that they lived long enough to go bald. Yes: ancient man had follicle problems. In those days, the "hair club for men" was something you used to strike your enemy dead; they had no recourse to modern remedies for baldness, like . . . .

. . like . . . well, there's that one pill that supposedly gives you actual hair, but I don't see it advertised much anymore. Guys either just give up and go shiny, or they comb over from one side to the other. (Or they use their back hair, which is known as the Jersey Beach Comb-over.) Since ancient man didn't have mirrors, he was spared the day when he looked at his mug in the glass and asked "am I going bald?" only to tell himself no, he's not. Possibly they welcomed it: fewer nits, less lice. Possibly they were well-aware of their baldness, and put on a hunk of someone else's scalp, and told themselves it looked great and no one could possibly tell. Unless they knew the guy who used to own the hair, of course.

The story also notes that men also had "dry earwax problems," which I could have gone the rest of my life without knowing. We do not know if they had Old Man Ear Hair, because no one lived long enough. Yes, the old standard cure for the ravages of age: being consumed by a tiger.