Why you should go: Because artistic director Myron Johnson's perverted Mattel-meets-Merman romp through E.T.A. Hoffmann-land has become its own beloved Christmas classic. Because Zhauna Franks' plastique performance as Barbie is a flat-out triumph. Because Johnson nixes most of Tchaikovsky's hummable melodies for a potent, where-does-he-find-'em cocktail of yuletide pop schlock. Because John Waters would kill for the witty costumes and coiffures. Because the company (particularly Michael de Leon's squirrelly Ken, Johnson's Paul Lynde-esque Funny Uncle and the fearless Stephanie Fellner's kitten-with-a-whip Rat Queen) runs on high octane. And because the final scene contains ballet's funniest joke.

Watch out for: Traditionalists should look elsewhere for "Nutcracker" satisfaction. The "Naughty" version is more PG than R. And the show's midsection can feel a little saggy.