Ask Amy: Woman treats friend like a spare tire

Dear Amy: I'm a woman in my late 20s. For several years, my friend "Terence" has always been there for me. He has helped when I've gone through breakups, when my mother had cancer and when my house was vandalized and all my stuff was stolen.

He does little things for me, like dropping off soup when I'm sick or sending me flowers. I know he has feelings for me. He and I have talked about dating, but when it comes up, I am either not looking to date anyone, or I'm already dating someone. I think I would date him someday (when the time is right).

Recently, he said he feels like he's "second best" because I only spend time with him when I don't have other plans. I'm busy, and I wish he could understand that I can't spend time with everyone.

It came to a head recently. I went for a predawn bike ride and had a mechanical problem. I called him and he biked the 10 miles out on the trail to bring me a spare part and coffee.

We watched the sunrise together. He invited me out for breakfast, but I told him the guy I'm dating was still asleep at my apartment and I didn't want him to wake up without me there.

Terence said it was the last straw. The last thing he said to me was, "The next time you're in trouble, call the guy you're sleeping with, not me. Or better yet, just don't call me again."

He hasn't returned my calls, texts or e-mails. I feel like I've lost a really good friend. How do I repair the friendship?

And so, you should quietly let him go. Terence deserves a parade, as well as a relationship with someone who puts him first (and not only when she needs a spare part).

Dear Amy: My son married and then divorced within months. They parted friends.

My ex-husband and his wife have taken my ex-daughter-in-law into their home. I have no problem with that. My problem is that they have disowned my son. They demanded that he return money they gave to him as a wedding gift, which my son cannot afford.

They berate our son to the point of madness. They called him "Hitler-like" and "lower than a cockroach" for the breakup. My son is honorable. He has a steady job, a home, and will not say a bad thing about his ex.

He refuses to let me talk to his dad and tell his side. I don't want this divorce to be the end of their relationship because, even though they have severely hurt him, he still loves his father.

Even though it was a gift, your son should return the wedding cash, in portions if necessary. However, he should do so for his own sense of pride — not to appease his father.

Ask your son, "What do you really want from your father?" Counsel him about what he can realistically expect, and then comfort and help him to recover from this blow.

Dear Amy: I felt sorry for "Worried Boyfriend." His girlfriend shared a dorm room with a roommate whose boyfriend spent the nights in the bottom bunk and then casually walked around nude.

Times have not changed that much. I graduated from college over 30 years ago and one of my roommates would have her boyfriend sleep over. I was less concerned with him being naked as not being able to have my own privacy.

Amy says: Without question, overall views on nudity are changing radically. But for the modest among us, throw on a towel!