Man, I am so sorry about that Justin Bieber Pimple Post. (Almost as much fun to say as Rubber Beiber Baby Bumpers.) It was a hectic morn. Anyway, I was tempted to post the Woman-Quits-Via-Whiteboard-Slideshow yesterday, and was glad I didn’t; smelled wrong. Smelled like astroturf meme-generation. Which it was. Now we now who she is, and surprise, she’s an actress:

 

 

Goes by Elyse Porterfield. You may know this already, in which case congrats; if not, aren’t you glad you come here now and then? We know you don’t come here for the mostest latest news, necessarily, but because the sites that have dozens of reporters (read: 22-year old interns) are probably blocked at work, and even if they’re not you don’t want your boss seeing PEOPLE.COM when he or she walks by your desk. Whereas Startribune always looks legit.

 

As for how we’ll make up to you for the JBPP, wait. Around 2:00 we’ll have something to satisfy everyone completely fed up with Bieb fever. Stay tuned.

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Justin Bieber does not have pimples

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Ow: the autotune remix