Q: I've been with my boyfriend for about six months, and it seems we've reached a stalemate on the issue of having sex while I'm on my period. I'm not asking him to go down on me, just plain old sex for the first and second day when it feels so good. What is so freaky about a little bleeding? Is there a way to convince him to just throw the towel on the bed and not care about the blood?

A: It's true, sex and orgasms during those first 48 hours of flow can make a period much more bearable. Blood flow is increased all over the pelvic region during menstruation, filling up capillaries and, in turn, providing a nice head start on arousal. Also, orgasming releases endorphins, the body's natural pain killer. The chemicals hit the blood stream and temporarily ease the stabbing menstrual cramps, lower back pain, pounding headaches and that general "I want to die" feeling synonymous with days one and two of your period.

But blood dripping from your vulva does make for extended post-coital cleanup, and some people just don't enjoy dealing with the mess. If he's squeamish about blood -- as in, falls over or throws up when he sees it -- then your only option is to stop it from leaking out during sex. Luckily, there are some products on the market that make that possible.

One of them is the Instead Softcup, a piece of polyethylene that resembles a contraceptive diaphragm, but sits up around the cervix and collects menstrual flow rather than blocking sperm. The Instead Softcup is different than latex or silicone menstrual cups in that it's made from softer materials and has no "handle," so it's safe for sex. Neither of you will feel the cup once it's inside.

The female condom also offers protection of your white sheets, with the bonus of being a contraceptive and an effective barrier against STDs. The risk of blood-borne infections increases during menstruation, so this is a good option if either you or your partner is carrying any lifelong baggage. The female condom can also be used for anal intercourse (which in itself is another nifty way to avoid a sexual bloodletting).

Sea Pearls are sea sponges inserted and used as tampons. They absorb menstrual flow without interfering with penile penetration, and they feel just like your vaginal wall. As a natural, reusable product, they're also a hell of a lot better for the environment than conventional tampons, which can shift around where they don't belong and be felt by your partner during sex. As with the Instead Softcup, some women have difficulty with insertion and removal of Sea Pearls, so they might take some getting used to.

If switching up your period products seems like a hassle, you can always take it to the bathroom. As long as you've got enough space and you're reasonably certain no one's going to slip and snap a bone, shower sex is convenient for keeping clean while getting some. If you still think your man is being a baby about the birds and the bees, then take matters into your own hands. I'm betting you can make yourself come faster and more often than your boyfriend can, so why bother involving him at all if he's just going to be difficult?

Penis contest

Ladies and genitals, "Puppetry of the Penis" is coming to Minneapolis. The acclaimed comedy show that slays sell-out crowds with its goofy cock-and-balls "origami" will be at the Pantages Theatre for two shows on May 21. I'm giving away a pair of tickets to one randomly selected person who sends me a legit question for this column by midnight Wednesday. Submit your question to advice@vita.mn or at www.vita.mn/alexis. Remember to include your e-mail address.

  • Alexis McKinnis is taking your questions about sex, dating and relationships. Send them to advice@vita.mn or submit anonymously at www.vita.mn/alexis. Don't leave out the juicy details!