Dear Mr. Smithee: What do you consider the best and worst all-time movie accents?

Two believable ones that come to my mind are Renée Zellweger in "Bridget Jones's Diary" and Albert Finney in "Big Fish." Their performances are all the more remarkable because Zellweger is a Texas native pulling off a fine English dialect and Finney is from England, accomplishing an impeccable Southern drawl.

On the other hand, as much as I tried to accept Jodie Foster's character in "Silence of the Lambs," her West Virginia affectation left a lot to be desired. I could never shake the notion I was watching an actor acting.

PAUL RIDLEY, MINNEAPOLIS

Dear Let's Put Him in a Pot: I could listen all day to Helen Mirren uttering guttural English of yore in "Excalibur."

Cate Blanchett as Kate Hepburn in "The Aviator" was, I thought, excruciating.

I know what I like: Viggo Mortensen and Vincent Cassel in "Eastern Promises." (What was so unusual was watching Cassel, an extremely French-looking guy playing a Russian-sounding character.) Also, Meryl Streep in "Sophie's Choice" and "Out of Africa."

I know what was horrid: Kevin Costner in "Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves."

ALAN

P.S. You get shirts for "Juno" and "Prince Caspian."

No apology necessary Dear Mr. Smithee: After you print an apology for omitting "A Fish Called Wanda" from your list of all-time comedy classics, I will resume my readership. Admittedly, I'm still stuck on the quandary: How will I know?

SANDY SCHUMAN, WEST PALM BEACH, FLA.

Dear In Need of Advice: Do not hold your breath.

ALAN

Send e-mail to alansmithee@ajc.com. Include your name, city and daytime phone number.

What's happening now Dear Mr. Smithee: Has there ever been a film made in "real time"? In other words, a film that only portrays a 90-minute or two-hour time span?

ED BOSTICK, CARTERSVILLE, GA.

Dear Clockwatcher: Two hours? How about sitting longer than that?

Andy Warhol's 1963 silent wonder "Sleep" consists of John Giorno napping for more than five hours.

But you are looking for something with a plot. I would suggest Mike Figgis' "Timecode" (2000). For more than 90 minutes, four cameras, each in a single take, follow four separate stories that eventually converge. The screen is divided into four quadrants.

A better film is Aleksandr Sokurov's "Russian Ark" (2002), which, for more than 90 minutes and in a single take, explores 33 rooms in the Russian State Hermitage Museum and 300 years of history while involving about 2,000 cast members.

ALAN

P.S. You get a "Lucky You" shirt and an "Almost Famous" room key.