Music: A wish list for 2008

Let's start off 2008 on an important note: everything that I want. Here are some of the things I'd like to see happen in the local music scene over the upcoming year. They might be more pipe-dream wishes than perfect-world scenarios, but I promise you we would all be in a better place were they to come true.

• Looking toward the next Boiled in Lead and Dropkick Murphys gigs while paying respect to its longtime former manager, First Avenue converts its VIP Room into an Irish pub called McClellan's, featuring a wide array of fine import and locally brewed beers on tap that can cross the border into the main room and Entry.

• Afrifest is staged for the second time on the West Bank, and this time it doesn't rain like an East African monsoon.

• Building a buzz off tonight's gig at the Triple Rock, the Plastic Constellations' April release on French Kiss Records, "We Appreciate You," causes a nationwide revolt against every other band its age that plays whiny emo.

• A state law is passed requiring truth-in-advertising names for music festivals. The Taste of Minnesota is reborn as the Stale Food and Staler Music Fest. The Basilica Block Party becomes the White Christian Singles Beer Bash. The 10,000 Lakes Fest takes its sister event We Fest's name and simply adds an "ed" to it. And Macy's Day of Music goes ahead and takes Taste of Minnesota for itself.

• Taking a cue from Burnsville -- a city that pays for its own music venue for underage kids -- the Minneapolis City Council decides a good way to address juvenile crime is a tax break and other financial incentives for clubs that host at least one all-ages gig a week. Not only do teen offenses go down, so do sales of the video game "Kill Everyone Now! Die! Die! Die!"

• After their riveting performances Jan. 18 at First Avenue's Best New Bands of 2007 showcase, both Gay Witch Abortion and To Kill a Petty Bourgeoisie rename themselves.

• Hoping to outdo his 54.4-hour record and combine two holiday gigs into one, Mark Mallman plays his Marathon III gig over Labor Day straight through to Halloween. Aside from a pulled groin caused by a piano hump on Day 43, he plays the whole stretch unscathed.

• The video store between the Nomad and the Triple Rock gives up its parking spaces.

• The Hexagon and Eagles Club add a giant spotlight to the neighborhood so patrons no longer have to drive around trying to remember the numbers of their streets/avenues.

• Because Minneapolis police unplugged the last of his three hometown shows on 7/7/07 for going past curfew, Prince decides to take his tax-generating bad-ass self over to St. Paul on Aug. 8 and play three gigs at Xcel Energy Center, Seestedt's carpet store and Garrison Keillor's house.

• With his name and photo already appearing several times every week, G.B. Leighton frontman Brian Leighton takes over as editor of City Pages. Staffers who fear the new boss is too corporate wait it out.

• Once her worldwide jaunt as the Foo Fighters' violinist winds down, Jessy Greene joins Dan Wilson and Gary Louris on the "We Should Be As Famous As the People We've Worked For" Tour.

• Viewership of "American Idol" drops sharply in the Twin Cities after clubs start booking great bands and offering drink specials on Tuesday and Wednesday nights. Oh, wait, they already do that. So let's just say: More people get a life.

• Tired of corners being cut at the new Twins stadium, the Hold Steady organizes a Pohlad-family fundraiser gig at the construction site. Craig Finn delivers "Cattle and the Creeping Things" standing on the future home of home base.

Hanging up Chainsaw After 30-plus hairy, hard-fought years in the heavy-metal business, former Slave Raider frontman and Hairball founder Mike Findling -- a k a Chainsaw Caine -- says he's taking a bow. His official retirement party is tonight at the Medina Ballroom, featuring Hairball with special guests (9 p.m., $8).

Findling had quite a run with Slave Raider in the '80s, issuing two albums on Jive/RCA Records, winning 10 Minnesota Music Awards and landing songs in such era-specific movies as "License to Drive" and "The Burbs." He also enjoyed some regional success with Ruby Starr in the '70s. After hair-band metal fell off the national radar in the '90s, he found there was still plenty of nostalgia for it in Twin Cities area clubs -- and thus was born Hairball, a wig- and costume-donning all-metal cover band that remains a big draw around town.

Findling will still manage the band but says he isn't up for the performances anymore.

CD parties A band that continues to fly under the radar locally -- and still sounds like it's sampling a radar -- space-rock quintet Dallas Orbiter hosts another release party tonight at the Varsity Theater for its third full-length recording, "Motorcycle Diagrams." The disc offers a fascinating sonic mishmash of electro-whirry Radiohead and Daft Punk meshed with classic Pink Floydian psychedelica. But it's hard for me to get into songs with lines like, "I descended fully formed from the Twilight Zone" (from "Brow of Zeus"). Tonight's party also features Ouija Radio and the Chambermaids (9 p.m., $5).

A local native who's still in orbit around Los Angeles, Willie Wisely returns to town for a gig Saturday at Bryant-Lake Bowl to promote his new one, "Wisely" (10 p.m., $10-$12). It's the poppy tunesmith's second album in as many years, following an eight-year hiatus in which he pursued acting. One of Wisely's actor pals (and fans), Jenna Fischer from "The Office," stars in the rather clever video for the album's McCartney-like acoustic ditty "Through Any Window." You can see it on YouTube. The rest of "Wisely" is as sugary sweet as Pam's and Jim's flirting on "The Office."

Random mix Today is "Local Music Day" on Radio K (770 AM, radiok.org), featuring a daylong playlist culled from noteworthy albums of 2007. ... You'll no doubt hear the K staff spinning records by many of the bands playing the aforementioned Best New Bands showcase at First Ave on Jan. 18, which include A Night in the Box, Black Audience (featuring Robin Kyle of Valet), Gospel Gossip, M.anifest and Mouthful of Bees. The lineup was promising enough to move the show to Friday night from its usual Wednesday slot. ...

Ol' man winter can't keep the jam-band crowd from putting on a festival: WookieFoot, God Johnson, Fat Maw Rooney, Pert Near Sandstone and more are playing the Snow Ball next weekend (Jan. 10-12) at the Lutsen ski resort's bar, Papa Charlie's, along the North Shore. More info at Lutsen.com. ... The onset of winter also means there's another new Atmosphere EP out, "Sad Clown, Bad Winter (No. 11)." It features Slug's most overtly titled track to date, "Ha, This One Is About Alcohol Too." ...

Former members of Cowboy Curtis have formed a new band called Wishbook, which is this month's Minneseries artist every Thursday at the Nomad Pub. After catching Mel Gibson & the Pants, Sims and Dosh at the always-free Minneseries last month, all while drinking the Fat Tire sister brand 1554 on tap, I'll go ahead and call it the best weekly gig in town these days.

chrisr@startribune.com • 612-673-4658