A list heralding the best "clean comics" on the road once would have been incomplete without Bill Cosby, but the escalating number of sexual-assault accusations makes a recommendation feel downright, um, filthy. Instead, check out these other profanity-free pros. NEAL JUSTIN
Bill Engvall
Southern charmer who's part Uncle Jesse, part Rhett Butler. Not as well known as his "Blue Collar" tour mates Jeff Foxworthy and Larry the Cable Guy, but gets significant street cred for casting Jennifer Lawrence in his 2007 self-titled sitcom.
Sample shtick: "I thought 'RV' stood for 'Recreational Vehicle.' No! It stands for 'Ruins Vacations.' "
Tom Papa
He may be best known as host of the defunct show "The Marriage Ref," but he's better at making why-didn't-I-think-of-that? observations from the stage than counseling couples on TV.
Sample shtick: "What if God didn't intend for us to eat the animals? He must have been pretty freaked out when we started."
Paula Poundstone
The NPR regular has bounced back from a child-endangerment case in 2001 to re-establish herself as comedy's coolest big sister. She performs Friday at the Sheldon Theatre in Red Wing.
Sample shtick: "I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name."
Jerry Seinfeld
What's the deal with the richest comic on the planet still logging significant time on the stand-up circuit? The superstar's addiction to the road is our gain.
Sample shtick: "Just what is the handicapped parking situation at the Special Olympics? Is it still just the two spaces?"
Steven Wright
A mix of a deadpan approach with a wild imagination makes for one highly enigmatic, exciting act. If only he slept-walked into the Midwest more often.
Sample shtick: "I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time.' So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance."
