Withering Glance offers general laws

CP: At the end of his splendid "Autobiography," Charles Darwin candidly assesses the strengths and weaknesses of his own mind, which "seems to have become a kind of machine for grinding general laws out of large collections of facts." And how.

RN: I marvel at your bedtime reading list.

CP: This got me thinking about the idea of general laws. You know, guiding principles that life has taught us we must accept as irrefutable.

RN: Are we talking white wine with fish, and never outshine the bride?

CP: Sure. Or "trust thyself."

RN: Secure a loved one's approval on all clothing purchases motivated by rock-bottom clearance prices, or end up with a chartreuse-and-pink Shaker cardigan. That's just a for-instance, by the way.

CP: When eating sheet cake, always try for a corner piece. More frosting.

RN: Dayton's is never coming back.

CP: F lasts longer than L, where F is friendship and L is lovers (or spouses, for the rest of the world).

RN: Texting and driving don't mix. Applying Maybelline Great Lash and driving don't mix.

CP: Don't "surprise" your partner with a major new facial piercing and expect him or her to say "Great!"

RN: Floss.

CP: Frown. (It annoys all the right people).

RN: Don't kid yourself into thinking that your nose-picking goes unnoticed.

CP: No Sarah Jessica Parker movie will ever be good.

RN: Retire the Aramis.

CP: Meanies are losers.

RN: Tip generously.

CP: Patti Smith is a rock goddess.

RN: Being nice to the gate agent is far more effective than screaming at the gate agent.

CP: Veganism and travel in Spain don't go well together.

RN: Your cellphone conversation isn't fascinating to your fellow Metro Transit passengers.

CP: Ix-nay on the thumb ring.

RN: Allowing other drivers to merge into traffic makes you a better person.

CP: However much we dread it in advance, we always feel better after exercise.

RN: Life is at its most wondrous when New York Times dance critic Alastair Macaulay is writing about Balanchine.

CP: Mood and weather are closely related.

RN: ABC blew it by replacing "All My Children" with "The Chew."

CP: Don't wear yellow.

RN: Ever.