Twins' one worry on the way back home: pitching

NEW YORK - Let's get one thing straight as the Twins limp home from a three-city road trip:

The next player who complains about Target Field should be Tasered like a Phillies fan.

We've heard whining about sight lines and hitting backgrounds and dimensions and swirling winds. We've heard complaints about tall fences and unfavorable weather patterns and suggestions about moving the fences in or home plate out.

The next player who besmirches our manmade Grand Canyon should be forced to carry David Kahn's thesaurus around until it causes a hernia.

Here's what we know for sure about Target Field after almost three months: The Twins play better there than on the road.

After their 6-0 loss to the Mets in another blasé day game performance on Sunday, the Twins are 18-21 on the road. They are 23-13 at home. You don't need to hire Bill James or figure out what VORP means to decipher the meaning of those records.

The dimensions and wind currents that have robbed Twins hitters of numerous home runs at Target Field have also held opposing lineups in check. With 60 percent of the Twins' rotation pitching like it belongs in Scranton/Wilkes-Barre -- or as Twins manager and history buff Ron Gardenhire put it on Sunday morning, Scranton/Wilkes-Booth -- does anyone want to see Scott Baker, Nick Blackburn and Kevin Slowey pitching in a bandbox?

Baker allowed six runs in 4 1/3 innings Sunday and has allowed 11 earned runs in 10 1/3 innings over his past two starts.

For the past couple of years, the Twins have spoken fondly about how Baker, Blackburn and Slowey spend time together talking pitching. Maybe that's not such a good idea. Maybe they should be sentenced to solitary confinement. Or quarantined. They might be contagious.

Baker's ERA is 4.97. Slowey's is 4.79. Blackburn's is 6.10. In what has become the Year of the Pitcher, the Twins' three core righthanders are pitching like it's the Year of the Batting Practice Fastball Down the Middle.

The AL Central has become a three-team race, and the Twins have only two starting pitchers they can trust.

If Bake-Slow-Burn had to pitch in Philly all season, the Twins would need to give their outfielders bicycles, helicopters and group therapy.

The Mets spent 2009 complaining about Citi Field's spacious outfield, and star third basemen David Wright let the sight of drives dying on the warning track flummox him. He finished the 2009 season with 10 homers and 72 RBI.

In 2010, less than halfway through a season in the same park, Wright has 14 homers and 61 RBI, and his Mets are 28-12 at home and 15-20 on the road.

Do the Twins' complaints sound familiar? "Oh, yeah, yeah," Manuel said, chuckling.

Doesn't a spacious home park benefit the home team? "Oh, no question," he said. "I think it's positive in that we're winning games here, and I think that the team has somewhat been designed around the park.

"I know for some guys that can be somewhat frustrating, to hit a ball and think, 'If I was in 'X' park it would do this or do that.' But for the most part we're winning games, and that's what's important."

Gardenhire has told his players, "You can't let it eat you up."

What Twins players should understand is that Target Field gives more than it takes. So as the Tigers come to town, the Twins should quit kvetching and enjoy the spacious confines where even Bake-Slow-Burn look like aces.

If the Twins are to make any modifications to their beautiful new ballpark, here's my recommendation:

Add a locker.

For Cliff Lee.