Twins can make a penny-wise pitching move

The Twins decided they couldn’t afford — whether in terms of dollars or prospects — to make a deal at the trade deadline.

This calls for a telethon.

Call Sarah McLachlan. Record the infomercial, with sappy strings playing in the background. Better yet, Twins fans, take matters into your own hands.

If just 200 of us will mail one penny to Target Field, the Twins would be able to afford to make one of the most impactful moves any team has made in the last week.

Yes, $2.00 will buy a Green Line light rail ticket that will deliver one of baseball’s best arms from CHS Field in St. Paul to Target Field in Minneapolis.

His name is Louie Varland, and adding him to the Twins’ not-as-good-as-expected bullpen could make all the difference down the stretch.

The Twins made just one deal at the trade deadline, adding reliever Trevor Richards.

He knew he couldn’t add an expensive player, and he knows that, if the payroll isn’t going to increase dramatically in the coming years, he will need the kind of young, affordable talent that usually makes the best July trade collateral.

The Twins could have used a reliable starter — but the time to add one was during free agency last winter. That’s when the Pohlads’ payroll restriction made the biggest difference, not at the trading deadline.

The next best thing might be an even better thing — a reliever who can dominate the late innings.

It’s worth recapping why Varland is pitching for the Class AAA St. Paul Saints.

He made it to the big leagues as a starter with average stuff and a bulldog presence.

Varland insisted he wanted to be a starting pitcher. He has spent this season proving he is not one.

In 14 starts with the Saints, he has an ERA of 5.35. In six games with the Twins this season, five as a starter, he has an ERA of 6.58.

Last year, as a starter with the Twins, he had a 5.30 ERA, an .845 opponents OPS and a strike-walk ratio of 3.00.

His numbers as a reliever in 2023: a 2.20 ERA, a .510 opponents OPS and a strikeout-walk ratio of 21.00.

Varland has said he wanted to be a starting pitcher because they make more money. He needs to study Twins history.

LaTroy Hawkins was a struggling young starter with one of the worst statistical profiles in baseball history. He wound up becoming an excellent setup man who played for 21 seasons. You can make a lot of money being useful and unselfish for 21 seasons.

If Guardado hadn’t moved to the bullpen, he may have been out of baseball at a young age. Instead, he became one of the Twins’ most popular players, before becoming one of the Mariners’ most popular players.

It’s time for the Twins to make the switch, and have Varland start working as a reliever and ramping up his velocity.

He could replace the injured Brock Stewart as The Twin You’d Least Like To Face.

Varland has even fared better against lefthanders than righthanders during his big-league career, meaning he could solve another Twins’ problem.