Sometimes a billboard’s slogan takes a second or two to process, because the wordplay aims for a double meaning. You usually don’t find those on highway billboards, since those have a limited time to grab your attention and cram the message down your eye-pipes. But I’ve seen this one on the static billboards and the kinetic displays on 35W. What does this mean?

Are the treats excited? About what? Being consumed? Is the message NOUN / YOUR EMOTIONAL STATE, presuming you respond with Pavlovian slavering to the prospect of the sugar-ration the picture presents?

Top GIS result for “Treats Excited”:

That’s a guy who sells dried “bull pizzles” for dog treats. Apparently dogs just love gnawing on a bull penis, but in the wild the opportunity is understandably rare.

Speaking of confusing things, this headline made me feel as though there was a large stone in the middle of my head:

Hard to imagine a company could apple its own trick, but I guess they did. 

TECH Spotify changed its icon, and now people can’t even. They can’t even tell you how much they can’t even. In other news, while 5,592 Moorlocks died of the Barren Sickness, an Eloi has a hangnail.

Nextweb says: “At first, I thought I was crazy because I checked the Spotify update notes and it simply said ‘minor improvements’ but I’m not the only one confused and a little frustrated.” I didn’t notice, but I don’t use Spotify on my phone much. It uses data when I’m away from the wifi, and DATA is the new long-distance. I have the same attitude towards streaming music on data that my parents did about a phone call to a distant city before 11 PM. Might as well just get out your money and set fire to it.

RETAIL You’ve read about the GAP’s downsizing, perhaps. In the NYT, bland modern twaddle-talk:

Jeff Kirwan, Gap’s global brand president since December, said that some stores were “just not appropriate anymore,” and that a 500-store presence in North America would be a healthier footprint.

I look forward to the press release describing which stores are now inappropriate. You also wonder if anyone ever got up in front of the Board of Directors and said the problem was an unhealthy footprint.

The article has some explanations for the chain’s troubles, and lays them at the feet - the sick feet - of the previous creative designer, who filled the stores with too many grey-and-black designs. Did no one ask why they were duplicating the palette of Banana Republic, your home for All Things Charcoal? Did no one ask if the problem wasn’t the prices, which are pitched about 20% above what people are probably willing to pay these days? I can count the number of non-sale Gap items I’ve bought on the fingers of my third hand.

VotD NBC has admitted that some Miami Vice fashion statements have not stood the test of time.

Oh, it’s not all that bad. BTW, the site offers other “classic” TV shows, including Kojak.

If that strikes you as odd, then your memories stretch back a very long time.