This could only be spoken by someone who lived through the Seventies:

Granny square vests, granny square shorts, granny square hats. Heck, I believe there was some kid out there who was forced to go to school wearing granny square underwear.

It’s a Slaton or Salte piece about why there’s an afghan throw rug in the granny-square style in “every TV show.” Well, no. #notalltvshows. There isn’t an afghan draped over Captain Kirk’s chair, although it would be amusing if there was. If Kirk had to bat some throw pillows from the chair before he could sit down.

That’s from the Slate Browbeat section, which looks at “culture.” Let’s see what else is going on.

Oh, go to hell. Elsewhere:

This is either a pro-peas piece or an anti-peas piece, but in both cases you have the bossy pants accusation right up top, so, here, author-person, take this chute, yes that one . . . yes, it lands in hell. You have earned it. Off you go! Oh, screaming in fear for your mortal soul, you’re doing it wrong. Try a higher pitch, something that suggests the sudden and immediate loss of sanity.

Finally, let’s see if there’s anything SHOCKING in the world of clickbait ad chum:

Is anything "Shocking" on the internet shocking at all? In the least?

SPACE We lost contact with the Pluto probe a while ago, and reestablishing contact and troubleshooting the problem is difficult. Not impossible, but image trying to help someone fix a computer over the phone by saying one letter at a time, with four and a half hours between each letter. But here’s the part that’s making the UFOlists say oh ho, what’s this?

Metro headline: “NASA probe sees weird ‘dotted line’ on Pluto – then signal cuts out.” Well, hours later. But still! Mysterious, right?

Actual science here at the WaPo. Three days to Pluto!

Sorry, forgot to tell you the SHOCKING story NASA DOESN’T WANT YOU TO KNOW. From the WaPo comments:

As exciting as these photos will be, its funny how they are making it seem as if they sent this craft out just to visit Pluto. Its only a fly-by mission because its real destination is to look for a phantom planet the size of earth orbiting way outside Pluto's orbit. Of which its existence is a debatable subject. This mission has got "agenda driven science" written all over it.

Ah, our old Friend Planet X, or Nemesis, or whatever you wish to call it. Probably another base for the humanoid lizard people. Oh tell me something I don't know, you say. How jaded the internet has made us.

RUSSIA TODAY Turns out the trade sanctions have deprived Russians of something they'd come to take for granted: good cheese.

The Putin government, as well as some news reports, claim that the countersanctions have been a boon to Russian producers, including cheese makers. But most of what they have been able to produce is the subject of complaints and jokes. People often post photos of cheeselike objects they discover at grocery stores, and at least one St. Petersburg shop has installed tongue-in-cheek advertising of the domestic processed cheese it sells: Parodying a Vladimir Mayakovsky poem, it commands the customer to “stop whining” and “start chewing our own Russian-made cheese spread.”

Who? Well, here's a Marxist artist site's notes on the fellow:

. . . he refused to see Soviet reality in strictly rosy colors, at one point even going so far as planning to write a poem entitled “Bad”

Oh, that’s a dangerous game. He committed suicide in 1930. Here’s how the manifesto of the 1917 collection ends:

And if for the time being the filthy stigmas of your “common sense” and “good taste” are still present in our lines, these same lines for the first time already glimmer with the Summer Lightning of the New Coming Beauty of the Self-sufficient (self-centered) Word.

He also calls for people to stop reading Pushkin. Well, now he’s in the pantheon of beloved poets - obviously, since someone can make a parody of his poems today, and people get the joke.

Speaking of Russian Cheese:

“Cult” and “Past” seem to be apt ingredients.

VotD Dear Google: Please stop doing this.

Google says: ”Deep neural network hallucinating Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas: how meta is that? Visualizing the internals of a deep net we let it develop further what it think it sees.” As a PSA against acid, though, it's probably more effective than anything.