Dear Matt: I'm recovering from cancer and plan on going back to work in a couple of weeks. I've lost a lot of weight and my hair. I'm very self conscious but happy to be alive. I am really nervous to go back to work and see my co-workers. Although I've been in touch throughout my leave I just feel awkward, and I know some of them will too. Do you have any suggestions on how to deal with this situation?
Matt: I talked to a close friend of mine who battled cancer and dealt with a situation like this. While he said he was certainly self-conscious of his appearance (he lost his hair and quite a bit of weight), he tried to go to work with his head held high, smiling and greeting everyone as if nothing had happened. He said what worked for him was redirecting the focus from any aesthetic changes to instead creating conversation based around his positive attitude and energy.
Carol E. Gilson, vice president of human resources and client services for Minneapolis-based EMPO Corporation, a human resource outsourcing firm, recently dealt with a situation like this at her company. The person returning after a bout with cancer said she had experienced similar angst but once she saw how everyone enthusiastically welcomed her back with hugs and kind words she said her angst was totally alleviated.
Each person deals with this situation differently. The key is to find a way to deal with it in a way that best fits your individual situation.
"Because you're physically able to return to work your co-workers will undoubtedly be delighted to have you return to the team and will be full of empathy and encouragement for your situation," says Gilson.
Matt Krumrie is a freelance writer from Inver Grove Heights, and has nine years of experience reporting on the employment industry. The first Sunday of each month this column will answer readers' questions. E-mail questions or subject ideas to askmatt@startribune.com.
