If you aren’t familiar with the Increasingly Lost Season,it’s a concept born out ofa series of Tweets by @RandBallsStu, an idea by your humble proprietor and a sick thirst to rile up Packers fans for no good reason. This is a rich time for ILS content, so Stu will continue, tongue-in-cheek, to explain the Packers’ misfortunes as they inevitably tumble into Randy Wright-esque putridity. Stu?
The Green Bay Packers may have thought they had turned their increasingly lost season around with an upset win over a banged-up Minnesota Vikings team on the Sunday before Thanksgiving.
100 hours later, as their fans sullenly exited Lambeau Field to get in line at Fleet Farm for their Black Friday deals on, like, ice augers or something, the Packers were back in second place and wondering where it all went wrong. Again.
The game, billed as a retirement ceremony for former Vikings quarterback Brett Favre, started off very well for the Green and Gold. Previously missing running back Eddie Lacy clearly dropped the ball before crossing the goal line, but the officials decided, in the spirit of the holiday, to give thanks for the lack of a goal line camera and award a touchdown to the Packers. Lacy would later pay it forward by fumbling in Packers territory to set up Chicago’s first touchdown. It remains unclear if it was the driving rain or wet-brining his sideline turkey that caused Lacy’s turnovers.
Despite the valiant efforts of Ed Hochuli’s crew to keep Green Bay in the game (Chicago: 12 penalties for 95 yards; Green Bay, three penalties and a handwritten apology from Roger Goodell for each one, probably), the Bears led 14-13 at the half. All eyes turned to the center of the field, as Packers greats like Bart Starr and, uh, Mark Chmura, welcomed Favre, who used to play for the NFC North-leading Minnesota Vikings, into the team’s Ring of Honor.
The undersized Aaron Rodgers gave it a game effort in the second half, although his rising frustrations caused him to use a Hollywood expletive on a bad snap. On the same play, Li’lA banged up his non-throwing arm, which didn’t keep him out of the game, but appeared to cause his receivers to drop his passes with increased vigor and dedication to the craft.
Chicago led 17-13 and faced a 4th and short on Green Bay’s 40 to seal the game with just over two minutes remaining. Bears coach John Fox decided to give America the thrilling ending it wanted by punting it into the end zone. In Fox’s defense, there was zero chance the officials would not have whistled the Bears for holding or icing or manslaughter if they’d had the temerity to convert a first down.
With zero timeouts and 80 yards to go, the tiny field general led a furious Green Bay drive, and had four chances from the Chicago 8-yard line to bail the Packers out. Those four chances became four incompletions, with the last one hitting Davante Adams right in his hands, the worst possible place to put it. If not for Olivia Munn and public employee unions, Adams would likely be the most unpopular person in Wisconsin.
It’s a mix of good news and bad news for the Pack this week. The good? Not having to play another game at Daunte’s House. The bad? Another date with the Detroit Lions, who already beat them in Lambeau and have now remembered they have Calvin Johnson on their team. In an increasingly lost season, getting swept by the Lions would be a fitting, haunting epitaph.