Out in public? Kids, behave. And tell your parents to, too

I almost took some little ones to see "A Christmas Carol" at the Guthrie Theater, but then I got scared. Not of the Ghost of Christmas Past.

Of the present family discipline policy on the Guthrie website.

"If your child of any age proves disruptive," it reads in part, "you will be asked to leave the auditorium."

Yikes. Is this part of a bigger backlash?

A few weeks ago, the world's cheeriest airline, Southwest, tossed a screaming 2-year-old and his mommy off a San Jose-bound flight before takeoff. Southwest later apologized and gave the mother, Pamela Root, a refund and a $300 travel voucher. But the lion's share of bloggers were adamant that the airline had it right in its initial refusal to tolerate a wild child.

Dan McCauley made news when he posted a warning on the door of his Chicago-based Taste of Heaven cafe: "Children of all ages have to behave and use their indoor voices." Business has since increased 33 percent, he says.

I'm all for good behavior. I just wonder if we might better focus our quest for it. During the past month, I've indulged in several adult cultural, culinary and religious offerings in our fine Twin Cities, including theater, dance, a prayer service and an evening dinner and auction to benefit one of my favorite nonprofits. My collective review is best sung to the tune of "The Twelve Days of Christmas:"

Four talkers yacking

Three cell phones ringing

Two hackers coughing

And one mom crazed with iPhone crossworrrrrds."

Anybody have a pacifier to calm my nerves?

Besides, my informal survey suggests that the small fry isn't usually the problem inside or outside airplanes.

"It's the adults and their cell phones that are exponentially more disruptive," said Jennifer Blagen Lawton, who is understudying Mrs. Cratchit in the current Guthrie production. In real life, she has four children, ages 3 to 13.

Patrons "will turn [their phones] off for the first act, then back on during intermission and leave them on. Or they'll text and you can see the lights."

Blagen Lawton has performed with the Jungle Theater, Chanhassen Dinner Theatres and Children's Theatre Co. She can't remember a single disruptive child. In fact, when her oldest child, Lucy, was 3, Mom brought her to a performance of "A Midsummer Night's Dream." Lucy's love of theater blossomed and, when she was 11, she played young Jane with her mom in Jane Eyre. "It's a learned experience, going to theater," said Blagen Lawton. "If the adults around them make expectations clear about what it means to be an audience member, there are no problems."

To her point, Ordway ushers are trained to tactfully invite restless children into the lobby with a parent to watch the performance on monitors, said Toby Lien, house and hospitality services manager. Children's Theatre Co. offers a crying room.

"We don't want to disrupt our [child-free] guests," said Wilde, who has been in the restaurant business for 22 years, "but we also want to let folks go out to eat. They may be stuck at home and maybe they can't afford a baby sitter. They deserve a night out, too."

Bill Summerville of La Belle Vie started a junior gourmet club a few years ago to encourage kids ages 5 to 12 and their families to bond around good food.

"How are kids going to learn how to behave if they don't come in?" he said. A few weeks ago, he took two "kind of antsy" diners, ages 5 and 7, on a kitchen tour. They loved it.

Guthrie spokeswoman Melodie Bahan is no Scrooge. She explained that the tough wording on the website was added a few years back when middle school students began to get unruly at performances. Since then, the theater has ushered in a pre-show program, in which school groups get prepped on what they'll be seeing. It's worked well. And that language? "We're going to soften it," Bahan said.

Maybe she could exchange it for a little primer for disruptive grown-ups:

Now, sit back and enjoy the show.

Choua Yang: Apologies for incorrect information regarding how to make a contribution to Choua Yang and her family, featured last week. The credit union is unable to accept donations online. Please make checks payable to: Benefit for Panhia Xiong. Mail the check to: Hiway Federal Credit Union, Attn: Benefit for Panhia Xiong, 111 Empire Drive, St. Paul, MN 55103-1899.