It's time for the Timberwolves to move.
They don't necessarily need to move to Tulsa, or Tacoma, or Tucson, but they need to move, immediately and permanently.
They'd only need to move a few blocks. Maybe they could buy the Metrodome and play there.
The Dome couldn't look any more empty than Target Center did last year, right?
Maybe they could play at old Siebert Field. Or in the Champions Club at Target Field. Then Corey Brewer could eat during timeouts, and maybe crest 140 pounds.
Whatever their destination, the Wolves need to move. It's obvious now that the combination of curses plaguing them are the result of building Target Center on an Indian burial ground. Not just any Indian burial ground. An Indian burial ground housing the remains of people who died from tripping over black cats, falling under ladders and landing on broken mirrors.
For those who don't believe in curses, I submit to you the eternal mysteries of the Chicago Cubs, the city of Cleveland and your Minnesota Timberwolves.
Tuesday night, at the NBA draft lottery in Secaucus, N.J., David Kahn must have fully and finally appreciated what it means to run this woeful, woebegone franchise. Kahn, the Wolves' president of basketball operations, watched the Wolves land the fourth pick in the draft after finishing with the second-worst record in the NBA.
All that painstaking losing and not playing defense and shooting like a drunken paintball team yielded the fourth pick in a draft that promises one star and one standout.
This is the Curse of the Wolves: Only their luck is worse than their decision-making.
Kahn tried to maintain a poker face but, beneath the forced, calm exterior, he had to be thinking: "Are you kidding me? We were so lousy last year we should get the first pick plus LeBron, Bosh and a Laker Girl, and here we are positioned to take the second coming of Paul Grant."
On a conference call Tuesday night, Kahn disputed that.
He told a long story about Larry Bird maintaining his composure during a big game when Kahn and Bird worked together in Indiana. I'm sure the point was that you should keep your head while all around you others are losing theirs, but all I heard was: "Hey, I know Larry Bird!"
I'll give Kahn this much: He's right when he says we're all jumping the gun in judging this draft class. None of us really knows whether Evan Turner, Wes Johnson or DeMarcus Cousins will be the better player.
All we can be sure of, given the Wolves' history, is that the player chosen third will be better than the player chosen fourth. That's just the way it works in Wolfland, where if Shaquille O'Neal and Alonzo Mourning are the first two picks in the draft, you will be forced to spend time with Christian "Loser, loser, loser, loser" Laettner.
If you want to salvage a positive thought from this latest debacle, it's that the Wolves didn't land the top pick, which would have left them with little choice other than to draft their 83rd point guard in the past two years, Kentucky's John Wall.
I think Wall will be a star. I think the Wolves would have been lucky to get him.
But if you're searching for light in the darkness, you can say that their top pick now will address a specific current need.
Besides, who knows what would have happened to Wall in Kurt Rambis' "Bermuda Triangle" offense. Point guards enter, disappear from the radar and never are heard from again.
Kahn said before and after the lottery that he will be very active this summer, meaning he has free agency, trades and several draft picks to wield. He also said the Wolves should improve because their young players have room to grow.
The Wolves need talent. Ryan Gomes working on his lefthanded dribble over the summer isn't going to transform this franchise.
John Wall might not have been good enough to transform the Wolves, either. But I would have liked to see him try.
Jim Souhan can be heard at 10-noon Sunday on AM-1500. His Twitter name is SouhanStrib. • firstname.lastname@example.org