OK, I lied. I've got to give a few recommendations for those who want a louder, faster, higher-proof night on Dec. 31. The following parties just sound too fun to pass up.
Aria at the Jeune Lune
The old theater space has been re-imagined as a stunning party lair. Its first big-time NYE event features music by the Sound in Motion DJ armada, plus live art installations and food by Crave. (9 p.m. 105 N. 1st St., Mpls. $35 presale. 651-321-1853. www.thejeunelune.com.)
Club Jäger
If the hand-numbered letter-pressed tickets are any indication, this dance party by the Wants Vs. Needs DJ crew should be something special. (10 p.m. 923 Washington Av. N., Mpls. $15. 612-332-2686. www.clubjager.com.)
Honey
The underground club has dubbed its party "Occupy New Year's Eve 2012." DJ Flipstyle is on the turntables, there's an all-you-can-drink option ($35-$45) and Honey is promising "better bathroom access than Zuccotti Park in Manhattan." Ha! (8 p.m. 205 E. Hennepin Av., Mpls. $5 presale/ $15 door. 612-746-0306. www.nyeparty2012.com.)
Kitty Cat Klub