Kelly McGraw, 37, of Portsmouth, England, and her husband, James, 40, have enjoyed playing pranks on each other throughout their 24-year marriage. But before Christmas, as James was plotting a way to get back at Kelly for a "dodgy" haircut she'd given him, he came up with a gloriously permanent idea: He had his thigh tattooed with a less-than-flattering photo of Kelly, asleep on a plane with her mouth gaping open, as James mocked her behind her head. "I'm one up at the moment," James told the Sun, "but I'm also scared because I don't know what she's now planning." Kelly was unforgiving: "I was horrified. I couldn't believe it. ... We do mess about anyway, but this is on another level. ... He needs to watch his back."

Bright idea

Justin and Nissa-Lynn Parson of McKinney, Texas, were all in when their son Cayden, 12, asked for a magnifying glass for Christmas. "We thought, 'Oh, he wants to magnify something' " to read, Nissa-Lynn told KDFW. Instead, Cayden and his brother, Ashton, used the glass to light a newspaper on fire on the family's front porch, which soon spread to the yard, eventually destroying the lawn and some of the family's Christmas lights. "We ran inside and started screaming," Cayden said. The family doused the fire with "pitchers of water, blankets smothering it, sprinklers turned on, hose turned on," Nissa-Lynn recounted, adding that now Cayden "will definitely have yard work to do once spring comes."

Least competent criminal

In Jefferson County, Colo., would-be car thief Todd Sheldon, 36, has finally admitted it's just not the vocation for him, according to police. Fox News reported Sheldon had tried over recent weeks to steal multiple vehicles, according to the Jefferson County Sheriff's Office, but each time he was caught in the act — first by a homeowner, then by sheriff's deputies minutes later "just down the street," shocking the deputies by telling them, "I'm trying to steal this truck." He was arrested and bonded out, but a week later, deputies responding to a report of someone trying to break into a car again found Sheldon. "I really suck at this," Sheldon allegedly told an officer.

Bah, humbug!

Poppy Leigh, 13, of Manchester, England, hoped wrapping her waist-length hair around an empty plastic water bottle and decorating it with lights like a Christmas tree atop her head would bring good cheer to her mates and teachers at Manchester Health Academy on Dec. 20. Instead, school authorities told her she had to either take the decorations off or go home. Her mom, Christie, wasn't happy about it: "It's just a bit of fun and Christmas cheer," she told Metro News. But principal Kevin Green huffed: "The Academy has the highest of expectations around uniform and teaching and learning, and ... whilst it was a remarkably creative hairstyle, it was, unfortunately, inappropriate for school."

Dreams do come true

Joan, 89, and her friend Pauline, 84, had their wishes fulfilled in early December after asking administrators at the Glastonbury Court care home in Bury St. Edmunds, England, for an attractive man with a "large chest and big biceps" to visit. Sure enough, a male stripper dressed as a fireman arrived at the home to entertain the ladies, waving his belt around his head as he danced for them. "I wish he could visit us every day!" gushed Joan to the Daily Mail. "He made me feel like I was young again." Joan made her request through the home's wishing tree initiative, which others have used to ask for things like a shopping trip or a day at the beach. "This isn't the typical kind of visitor we have," said home manager Sharlene Van Tonder, "but based on the response, he was one of the most popular."

News of the Weird is compiled by the editors at Andrews McMeel Syndication. Send your weird news items to WeirdNewsTips@amuniversal.com.