In Charleston, S.C., Cara Koscinski and her family were looking forward to her son Jacob's May 19 graduation party. The Post and Courier reported he had excelled in his Christian-based home-school program, earning a 4.79 GPA and the summa cum laude distinction, an honor Koscinski included in the wording on the cake she ordered online from her local Publix store. When the software informed her "profane/special characters (are) not allowed," Koscinski made clear that phrase was Latin, meaning "with the highest distinction," and even included a link to a website explaining it.

Still, when the cake arrived, it read: "Congratulations Jacob! Summa --- laude Class of 2018." Jacob was embarrassed, and Koscinski had to tell her 70-year-old mother why the store had censored the word.

Publix offered to remake the cake, but as Koscinski noted, "You only graduate once."


Police officers in North Ridgeville, Ohio, were sure the man who called them at 5:26 a.m. on May 19 to report being followed by a pig was impaired and hallucinating. But sure enough, the Associated Press reported, officers on the scene found a completely sober man walking home from the Elyria Amtrak station with a pig trailing behind him. The department's Facebook page reported that a patrolman wrangled the oinker into the back seat of his cruiser and later secured it in the station's dog kennels, where the owner later retrieved it. "Also," the post noted, "we will mention the irony of the pig in a police car now so that anyone that thinks they're funny is actually unoriginal and trying too hard." Touché.

Anger management

Frustration with the cable company boiled over in Ridgewood, N.J., on May 7, when a dispute between an Optimum employee and a woman left the cable worker stranded on high. While the employee was in an elevated bucket working on lines, reported, a 59-year-old woman turned off the truck and "took utility property" before walking away, making it impossible for the worker to lower the bucket. Ridgeview police charged the woman with harassment, false imprisonment, disorderly conduct and criminal trespassing.

Least competent criminal

Deputy Henry Guzman with the Broward County Sheriff's Office in Florida made his first mistake when he shoplifted — three days in a row — from a Lauderdale Lakes Walmart. His second mistake was wearing his uniform while doing so. Guzman, a 13-year veteran of the department, stole DVDs and "Star Wars" action figures valued at about $200, WSVN reported. He was arrested on May 21 and charged with three misdemeanor counts of petty theft.

What a crock!

As it negotiated a roundabout on May 21 in Paisley, Renfrewshire, Scotland, a dump truck filled with manure tipped over, spilling its load onto a Peugot 208 with the driver inside. A witness said he "couldn't believe anyone got out alive," but the male driver was able to crawl through the pile of excrement and was unhurt, if stinky, Metro News reported. The car, however, "was crushed," according to a Police Scotland spokesman.

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