Laurie Kilmartin is best known as a staff writer on "Conan" and co-host of the "The Jackie and Laurie Show" podcast with former Minnesotan Jackie Kashian. But she's also a force to be reckoned with all on her own.

The comedian used the first of her three-night stint at Acme Comedy Co. Thursday to unload the trials and tribulations of being a single mother and caretaker to her own mother. Most of the jokes are unprintable, but let's just say it's not the kind of set Hallmark would be eager to endorse.

"Go ahead, feel sorry for me," she said before launching into a bit about how she forced a "DNR" bracelet onto her 79-year-old mother. "Because you won't in five jokes."

Kilmartin constantly threatens to offend, most notably when cheerleading the concept of "lady rapists," and educating her kid by shoving him into a pool, rescuing him only when he pleads for help in Spanish.

She gets away with it -- for the most part -- by ending her deadpan shockers by flashing the kind of smile that Bette Midler beams after nailing her big finale in "Hello, Dolly."

It's a trademark that let's you know that, in reality, it's perfectly safe to leave your loved ones in her care. Just make sure to check in every 20 minutes.

Tickets are still available for Friday and Saturday shows.