"I just want to say I haven't been away."
Au contraire, Morrissey. The former Smiths singer should've had his fingers crossed when he sang that line from "The Loop" Monday night at the State Theatre, his first Minneapolis show since 2000 -- and one that his adoring local fans were clearly looking forward to more than he was.
"How is life in Funnyapolis?" he cheekily asked 30 minutes into the sold-out 90-minute set, before turning on his trademark snideness: "Do you think you'll ever leave? ... When?"
The British rock icon, 49, could've been setting up the next song, "Let Me Kiss You," with its opening lyric, "There's a place in the sun/ For anyone who has the will to chase one." But it was more likely just another of the many signs in Monday's rapidly paced, occasionally clumsy but mostly entertaining concert that the Pope of Mope -- even after a long hiatus from the local stage -- was still his charming old self.
Charming in his thoroughly trying way, that is.
"We love you unconditionally," one fan said when the singer instructed her to say something into the microphone.
"That's not good enough," Morrissey shot back.
When another fan admitted she was "shaky" in his presence, he replied, "Go get a Tylenol."