You know women like Diana Joseph: mouthy, smart, a little depressed. They smoke too much, drink too much, are overly quick to love, overly aware of their faults. They compensate with humor.
Joseph seems an unlikely memoirist. She has a hardscrabble background and she doesn't shy away from four-letter words -- any of 'em. (In such an eloquent book, it's a little jarring.) Still, "I'm Sorry That You Feel That Way" isn't quite as sassy as the subtitle would have you believe ("The Astonishing but True Story of a Daughter, Sister, Slut, Wife, Mother, and Friend to Man and Dog"). Despite Joseph's toughness, her book is shot through with doubt.
Does her father love her? Did she make too many mistakes with men? Will her son, whom she loves deeply, be OK in life, awkward teenage video-game player that he is?
Joseph, who teaches at Minnesota State University, Mankato, tells us who she is by telling us about the men she has loved. No question, she chose badly at times. She was drawn to danger and excitement, and to that flash of something in men that she chose to identify as vulnerability. She tells us everything, even the painful stuff -- from date rape to arguments over toilet paper. As each story unfolds, her life sounds kind of miserable, and Joseph sounds kind of clueless. You can't help but wonder, Does she know what she's saying? Does she know how she sounds?
But her stories are carefully planned, and just when you despair of her they suddenly veer in a different direction and gain focus and insight and, yes, wisdom, and you watch with admiration, and say, Ahh, yes, she does.
LAURIE HERTZEL
