Sorry, but this is kind of a ho-hum week of predictions after going 3-4 in last week's upset picks — including one particularly satisfying guess that silenced the tweet-happy thumbs of Bears fans at about 10 p.m. on Monday.
The league's five longest winning streaks should be extended to 10 (Steelers), seven (Saints), six (Dolphins), five (Chiefs) and four (that gosh-darn Vikings team that has no respect whatsoever for fans who live only for the draft).
On the flip side, the NFL Least should go 0-3, allowing the idle Giants (3-7) to inch within a half-game of first place in the worst division in NFL history.
The only upset predictions this week are Aaron Rodgers beating Philip Rivers in Indy and Aaron Donald beating up Tom Brady in Tampa.
Last week's picks: 8-6; vs. the spread: 5-9.
Year to date: 95-51-1; 74-72-1
Vikings games: 5-3
Here are this week's picks:
Cowboys (+7½) at Vikings: Vikings by 6
The Vikings are healthier, more confident and more in tune with their coaching staff. The Cowboys are, well, a mess. But this isn't your typical 2-7 team that's ready to lie down for its long winter's nap. They're just 1½ games out of first place in the NFC East, so expect some fight from the 'Boys. Just don't expect it to be very well coordinated by Mike McCarthy and Co. Score: Vikings 27, Cowboys 21.
Eagles (+3½) at Browns: Browns by 6
Yeah, Carson Wentz is kind of one of us as a fellow Upper Midwesterner. And we Minnesotans are supposed to be reverential when mentioning his name. But, psst, he ain't good right now.
Falcons (+5) at Saints: Saints by 7
Sean Payton turns to Taysom Hill over Jameis Winston. Smart move. Hill is a decent passer and one heck of a sledgehammer-to-the-forehead runner.
Lions (+3) at Panthers: Panthers by 6
Matt Patricia has coached the Lions for 41 games over three seasons. He's won two games in a row just twice. He won't make it three come Sunday.
Patriots (-2) at Texans: Patriots by 7
Uh-oh. Belichick has the Patriots just doing their jobs again. And Houston is in no mood to fight back.
Steelers (-10) at Jaguars: Steelers by 14
By kickoff, the Steelers will have been told 45,678 times that this is a trap game. That should be enough times to make them want to really stomp the Jags.
Packers (+2½) at Colts: Packers by 3
Every instinct in this picker's brain says take the Colts. They'll have had 10 days off after shellacking the Titans. They have the better defense, and the Packers looked lifeless for long stretches against the Jags last week. But Aaron Rodgers is too good at wrecking instincts that go against him.
Bengals (+1½) at Washington: Bengals by 3
This year's No. 1 pick (Joe Burrow) meets this year's No. 2 pick (Chase Young). Other than that, zzzzzz.
Titans (+6½) at Ravens: Ravens by 3
Facing Tennessee's defense should give Slumping Lamar Jackson a chance to remind us he can still be Super Lamar Jackson.
Chiefs (-6½) at Raiders: Chiefs by 7
The Chiefs couldn't keep pace with Derek Carr in the first meeting. Patrick Mahomes will fix that with just a tad better defense backing him up.
Dolphins (-3) at Broncos: Dolphins by 7
Miami has had just one six-game winning streak the past 15 seasons. Make it two on Sunday.
Jets (+8½) at Chargers: Chargers by 10
The Jets showed life in nearly beating the Patriots before entering last week's bye. But the Chargers aren't going to blow this layup.
Rams (+3½) at Buccaneers: Rams 31, Buccaneers 28
Tom Brady doesn't like defensive tackles in his face. And that's where Aaron Donald will be for about three hours on Sunday.
Last week's upset special: Panthers (+6) 31, Buccaneers 27.
Result: Buccaneers 46, Panthers 23.
Upset special record: 4-6.