Man begs: Please, Weezer, No More

A Seattle resident named James Burns says he hopes to raise $10 million in an online campaign to offer Weezer to break up and stop recording music. “I am tired of my friends being disappointed year after year,” he writes. “I am tired of endless whimsical cutesy album covers and music videos.” 

There’s a few problems with this approach. For one thing, Weezer could take the money and reform as Weizer. Or Rezeew. Secondly, the money could be put to better use. It’s possible there are poor people somewhere saying “yes, we lack clean water and mosquito netting, but we too are annoyed by Weezer, so yes, by all means, hit that Paypal button.” This is the humorless, literal-minded objection raised by people who leave comments on the campaign’s page. They are ANGRY ABOUT HIS PRIORITIES. To quote from the campaign’s mission statement:

But this isn’t about me. This is about the Weezer fans. They are our brothers and sisters, our friends, our lovers.


Every year, Rivers Cuomo swears that he’s changed, and that their new album is the best thing that he’s done since “Pinkerton,” and what happens? Another pile of crap like “Beverly Hills” or “I’m Your Daddy.”


This is an abusive relationship, and it needs to stop now.

Yes, he’s obviously serious, and deserves to be flamed to a cinder.

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