Low-profile Don Shelby bubbles up in Ely

Pat Miles misses Don Shelby, her former WCCO-TV anchor desk colleague.

Miles was at Big Boom, a Smile Network benefit wrapped around attorney Parrel Caplan's great view from the Carlyle of this year's soggy atmosphere for Saturday's Aquatennial fireworks. Smile Network is a nonprofit founded by Kim Valentini, who raises money to take doctors to underdeveloped parts of the world to transform the smiles of children born with birth defects. Caplan's client, Esera Tuaolo, sang, as did Pepe Willie, Marcy Ingvoldstad and Kristie Lazenberry of the group 94 East.

"Have you seen Don?" asked Miles. "I've got to call him."

I told Miles, who anchored alongside Shelby at WCCO before she went to KARE11, that Don has kept a low profile since retiring. He was charmingly included as the man at the happy ending in a recent piece WCCO did comparing GPS directions. Miles was not surprised that Shelby isn't having any trouble entertaining himself in retirement.

"I'm sure," said Miles. "He's a Renaissance man."

Monday, when I reached Shelby to find out whether Miles had caught up with him, he was having breakfast in Ely at the Chocolate Moose. Shelby was wrapping a BWCA trip with his sons-in-law, Matthew Larkey (husband of Delta) and Manny Benites (husband of Ashley), that included an especially tough one-mile portage -- with lots of packs.

"I love that lady and I miss her all the time," said Shelby, "and whenever I get a chance to be around her I'm overjoyed. I'll call her when I get back to town."

Watch what you sayAt the Smile Network party I kept stumbling upon naughty conversations.

One of the chats was up-front admiration for the size of a certain part of Parrel Caplan's body. "Who said that!" Caplan asked me. I'll never tell.

Although Caplan prefers reviews on her work as a serious legal professional and philanthropist, she said, "That's the most flattering thing."

My speculation that Caplan was sporting original equipment was confirmed by the owner, who said if she were the kind of woman inclined to tweak her body, she'd do her face. Normally, Caplan said she gets compliments about another part of her anatomy.

In other action, a well-dressed, and I'm guessing well-heeled, character who identified himself as Jeff Cohen, a reader of this column when he's in town, shared with me the identities of two particular women at the party whom he'd like to, shall we say, date simultaneously -- what Cohen describes as every man's dream. I suppose he should at least be given credit for picking age-appropriate women instead of 20-somethings.

At 6-foot-5, Gomez was an inch taller than singer Esera Tuaolo, the former Viking and the emcee of the event. Gomez said he also outweighed the 290-pound Tuaolo, but "you're not going to publish that" number. I guess not. Gomez carries it well, although he requested that I only show startribune.com/video of him from the chest up.

Tuaolo was at the party with his boyfriend, Aaron Thompson, whose shorn locks made him as unrecognizable as some of the people there who have been tweaking their faces.

And speaking of haircuts, I asked Pepe Willie what the heck his haircut was designed to do. "Showing my Indian features," he said.

OooooooKaaaaaaaaay.

FACES at Mears Park in St. Paul chef David Fhima, who provided the food for the event, also was showing off new hair, explained to me on video by his vivacious daughters, Miryam and Racquel. They've always got their daddy's back.

Palin hotter than BachmannSteven Baldwin, whose only good movie was 1995's "The Usual Suspects," was asked by TMZ to choose between hot conservative politicians: Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin or Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann.

While Baldwin's rather giddy about the prospect of a President Bachmann, he reluctantly admitted "Sarah's hotter."

Baldwin's absolutely correct.

I know what you're thinking.

Wouldn't it be fun to see Sarah and Michele square off on "Jeopardy"?

Who's hotter: Todd Palin or Marcus Bachmann?

Cher might disagree with me, but if I may borrow from Wendy Williams, Todd Palin is all kinds of sexy. (Written by a woman whose hobbies don't include other women's husbands.)