Looking ahead, as always

Hard to believe, but we're only four days from the New Year. For lollygagging politicians keeping score in St. Paul, that's five days and three years from the arrival of Zygi's Get Out of Minneapolis Free card.

Ten teams already know that 2008 will begin with a playoff berth next month. Two teams -- the Vikings and Browns -- know they would be playoff-bound too if not for the fact that it's darn near impossible to win with 45 men executing the international sign for "I'm choking!"

Here is what some of your favorite NFL teams and personnel will be doing for parts of 2008:

NE -14½ at NYG: Patriots by 7. Bill Belichick will be trying not to raise a thumb to his nose, wiggle his fingers, stick out his tongue and make flatulating noises while accepting the Lombardi Trophy from Roger Goodell.

MN -3 at DEN: Vikings by 7. Zygi Wilf will try to read his 77-page code of conduct to the team before Dwight Smith's next citation.

BUF +7 ½ at PHI: Eagles by 10. The Bills will be flirting with Toronto, scaring Buffalo and causing Zygi to go, "Hmm, how far is Winnipeg?"

CAR +3 at TB: Buccaneers by 7. Bucs GM Bruce Allen will pay extra attention to Best Buy greeters after ex-BB greeter Greg White racked up 5.5 sacks in the past six games.

DAL +9½ at WAS: Redskins by 12. Jessica Simpson will try not to attend a meaningful Cowboy game. In return, the Cowboys have agreed to let her play receiver against the Redskins.

DET +3½ at GB: Packers by 10. Matt Millen will be resisting the urge to play the Gophers at a lame location should his Lions become bowl-eligible on Sunday.

JAC +6½ at HOU: Jaguars by 10. After a 12-4 record earns him second place AGAIN, Jags coach Jack Del Rio will be pressuring the Almighty to speed up Peyton Manning's full-time acting career.

NO -2 at CHI: Bears by 6. The winner in this NFC Championship Game rematch will be slapping its forehead and going, "What the @#$%$# happened?"

PIT -3½ at BAL: Steelers by 7. Brian Billick will wonder how far behind Tony Dungy he'll be on Joel Maturi's 2009 coaching wish list.

SEA +3 at ATL: Seahawks by 6. Falcons owner Arthur Blank will analyze everything that happened to him in 2007 and make it his 2008 (Not) To Do List.

SF +10 at CLE: Browns by 3. The 49ers will spend the next nine months wondering why Shaun Hill is better than Alex Smith.

SD -8 at OAK: Chargers by 14. The Raiders will be replacing "Just Win, Baby" with "For Gosh Sakes, Someone At Least Try to Tackle The Guy With The Ball, Baby."

STL +6 at ARI: Cardinals by 3. Ken Whisenhunt will be resisting the urge to play the Lions or Gophers at a lame location should his Cardinals become bowl-eligible on Sunday.

KC +6 at NYJ: Jets by 7. The Jets will be sending the Chiefs a letter of apology. "Dear Chiefs: Upon further review, we're cool with you stealing Herm Edwards."

TEN -6½ at IND: Titans by 3. Dungy will be sending a letter of apology to Browns coach Romeo Crennel: "Romeo, Romeo. Oh how I'd love to help thee, but it's Week 17, buddy, and I'm going with Jim Sorgi." UPSET SPECIAL

CIN -2½ at MIA: Dolphins by 7. Dolphins fans will be sending a letter of appreciation to coach Cam Cameron: "Dear, Cam. While we're still feeling a bit raw, we do appreciate that you didn't run and hide in Arkansas."

Last week: WAS over MIN. Result: WAS 32, MN 21. Record: 7-9