Lileks: The smelly curbside Bin of Virtue

Minneapolis' experiment with organic recycling will go wider next year, and hurrah, I guess. As long as it's not "recycling" in the usual sense of the word, and the grocery store doesn't have a sign that says, "This apple made with 20 percent post-consumer materials." Curious to see what they'll accept, I went to the city's website. Well, if it was alive at some point, it counts, unless it looked up when you called its name. But there are some peculiar notes.

Acceptable: "Tissues, cotton swabs and Q-tips™ (paper stem only)."

Excuse me. Can this bit about the Q-tips be left open for gross misinterpretation? Can't you just see someone (who doesn't know about the Q-tips with plastic stems) sitting down and razoring off the cotton part, wondering why cotton swabs are OK, but the cotton-swab part of a Q-tip isn't? It's like saying "Bell Peppers are acceptable, but the seeds must be removed and placed in a separate bag." Some people would do it.

Also good: "Wood chopsticks, popsicle sticks and toothpicks."

Again, fine, but the habit of walking out of a restaurant with a satisfied smile, prying broccoli from betwixt a molar with a sharp object, has fallen from favor. Many toothpicks are used for canapés, and have frilly crinkly plastic froth, and I guarantee you that stuff is unacceptable. So after you've finished shaving the Q-tips, get to work denuding the toothpicks.

Also welcome: "Animal and human hair and nail clippings."

We don't have bales of human hair drifting down the hallway, and the dog keeps his hair to himself. As for the nail clippings, I need to put down a marker right now. If you compost every possible thing you can, great. If you brag in public gatherings about how you compost fingernails in order to one-up someone who draws the line at denuding frilly toothpicks, you have lost perspective.