FOXBOROUGH, MASS. — How did they get here?

How, in this chips-on-the-table season, do the Vikings find themselves 2-5, able to boast only that they have a tiebreaking advantage over Detroit for last place?

How did they wind up with Randy Moss wearing purple but yearning to return to New England, and delivering an emotional monologue in which he second-guessed his new coach and teammates?

How could they find themselves on the brink of irrelevance while their battered quarterback refused to let eight new stitches in his bell-curve jaw keep him from telling us how amazing he is?

The season might not be lost, but it is certainly like "Lost," with alternate realities, bizarre characters and one man's (Moss) quest for time travel.

What occurred on Sunday afternoon at Gillette Stadium was predictable: The Patriots outlasted the Vikings 28-18; Brett Favre started the game but left after taking a beating; and Bill Belichick outcoached Brad Childress, winning with the less-talented roster.

Associated Press, Star Tribune
Randy Moss said he “shed a tear” over an ovation he received after the game. During the game, he was a non-factor.

What occurred after the game was perhaps unique in football history: Moss stormed to the podium and interviewed himself for five minutes, then Favre limped to the podium and managed to waggle his swollen jaw enough to praise himself for 12.

Moss, angry at being fined $25,000 by the NFL for refusing interviews, said he would answer questions only from himself for the rest of the season. That's fine with us, if he keeps making like Howard Beale in "Network."

Wearing a black Boston Red Sox cap, he conducted a monologue in which he praised the Patriots; referred to the "best coach in football history" and apparently meant Belichick and not his new coach; criticized Childress for not kicking a field goal at the end of the first half; complained that his new team didn't heed his game-planning advice regarding his old team; and generally sounded as if he wanted to skip the Vikings' charter to Minnesota and stay in Foxborough.

"I miss them guys, man, I miss the team," Moss said. "It was hard for me to come here and play. ... I just want to be able to tell the guys, I miss the hell out of them, every last helmet in that locker room."

Favre filibustered (Favrebustered?) for 12 minutes, leaving no doubt that despite his broken foot, elbow tendinitis and swollen face, he will make his 293rd consecutive start Sunday against Arizona.

He also questioned whether any other human could survive such beatings. As Dizzy Dean once said, "It ain't braggin' if you can do it."

"Here I am, 20 years, I don't know how many games -- a lot," Favre said. "I still feel like I can play at a high level, getting hit like that. What I think would keep most guys out for a long time obviously hasn't kept me out."

In summation: Moss thinks the Patriots are great. Favre thinks Favre is great.

Both might be close to the truth.

Favre played his most efficient game of the season, completing 22 of 32 passes for 259 yards, his only interception resulting from Percy Harvin bobbling a pass.

The Vikings held talent advantages at running back, receiver, defensive line and linebacker, and yet squandered an important game with missed tackles and opportunities as the Patriots improved to 6-1.

Moss was certainly right about Childress' decision to play for a touchdown on fourth-and-goal from the 1 at the end of the first half. Or, if he felt the need to try for the touchdown, Childress should have put Moss on the field, either to pull defenders away from the goal line, or as an intended receiver.

Instead, with every available body blocking for Adrian Peterson and the Patriots massed at the line, Peterson ran into a concrete wall.

Moss caught one pass for 8 yards, and that was one of the few to fly near his airspace all day. He sounded distraught that he couldn't beat, or return to, his old team.

Then Ol' Brett stepped up, smiled, and said, "There's plenty of times I should have been knocked out, but I wasn't."

Maybe that will become a rallying cry for the 2010 Vikings, who should be known from now on as "Jerseyed Shore."

Jim Souhan can be heard Sundays from 10 a.m. to noon and weekdays at 2:40 p.m. on 1500ESPN. His Twitter name is Souhanstrib. • jsouhan@startribune.com