Sen. Satveer Chaudhary, DFL-Fridley, peeved a few folks by attempting to slip in a little bitty law about little bitty fish. It was for the greater good of all, even though it targeted the lake where he happened to have a cabin. The law in question was meant to address the problem of Small Walleyes, or "smalleyes," in "Fish Lake Reservoir." The DNR website calls it "Fish Lake Flowage," which sounds like cannery run-off. Anyway, they're sick of catching fish you could mount on a postcard, so the senator did a little amending. Said the Strib account:

"The amendment asked the state Department of Natural Resources to adopt special regulations for the lake, where some residents have complained that the walleye population grows too slowly."

Frankly, I think our walleyes grow up too quickly these days, what with pressure from the media and society. Minnowhood is a precious time, and should be treasured. That's just my opinion, though, and I can see where this would be a problem for some. But I'm not sure how the awesome power of the Legislature could solve this one. Possibly they'd restrict fishing. More likely, it would be something like this:

"Be it resolved: Walleyes will be bigger." Another legislator says, "It needs some teeth." The bill's author says, "No, muskies have teeth." "No, the bill needs penalties, idiot. I mean my esteemed colleague." So they add: "Failure to attain 79 percent of Lunker Status by 2017 shall be punishable by being thrown back into the lake, instead of gutted, deboned, grilled, and consumed." There, that'll show 'em. They'll be leaping into the boats now. Laws! Is there anything they can't do?

Fun facts: The average walleye in the state is about 14 inches long, and weighs over a pound; DNR stats for the finned citizens of Fish Lake Flowage indicate that average weight is well above that, but those are 2005 stats, and for all we know the Atkins craze made the fish skinny. Look at me! Cut out the bread, and my scales are just hangin' off me now. But that's not the issue. It's the idea that a public servant can call a pal aside, ask for a particular favor, get it in the bill, and la-de-dah, it's on its way to the governor.

I don't mean to sound cynical, but I suspect this may have happened before. Look at the resolutions in the Roman Senate that granted Caesar supreme power, and you'll find a rider that put a six-sesterces tax on bottled gladiator sweat. It's the nature of enormous blobby comprehensive law-wads: As long as we're passing 248,358 new rules, what's one more? It's impossible to keep it from happening, since any sort of constituent service can be dressed up in the clothes of public interest. We all want it, too.

Correction: We want it for ourselves. If you tell your representative to DO SOMETHING about an issue in your community, and hey-presto, something gets done, it's Democracy in Action. Someone else does it, and it's corrupt. I'm not speaking to the particulars of Fishgate here, just the occasional selectivity of our outrage. We'd be justified in our fury if someone passed a law that banned Bill Johnson from using that special goat-gland sauce he puts on lures, so others can have a crack at the fish, fer cryin' out loud, but if the Legislature banned it statewide it wouldn't seem so petty.

No, it's the idea that a senator can put something in a bill, just like that, and we can't. So perhaps we should all get the chance. Once.

Imagine what the state would look like then, eh? If everyone got an amendment, one-third would ban something, like playing your car stereo so loud the bass loosens bowels for a six-block radius; one-third would permit something, like taking out slow drivers in the passing lane with a Tomahawk missile; one-third would just be goofy, such as Harold Torgerson shall have the right to garden in the nude, and if the neighbors don't like it, well, no one's forcing them to look. There would be good laws and bad, favoritism and public improvement, and a bewildering number of statues no one could possibly know.

We can't have ordinary people doing this. That's the Legislature's job.

jlileks@startribune.com • 612-673-7858 More daily at www.startribune.com/blogs/lileks