Jack Nicklaus and Lee ­Trevino were fierce competitors on the golf course. As Nicklaus puts it, they wanted to "beat each other's brains out."

Once a round ended, they became friends again and made dinner plans.

On Saturday, the two 76-year-old legends of golf belonged on stage at a comedy club. Their improv routine wasn't a re-enactment of "Grumpy Old Men." More like "Goofy Old Men."

Trevino and Nicklaus spoke to reporters before playing an exhibition round in the Greats of Golf Challenge at the 3M Championship in Blaine.

In the spirit of the upcoming Ryder Cup at Hazeltine National, they were asked if they had any favorite memories of the event.

Boy, do they ever.

Special To The Star Tribune, Star Tribune
From left, Jack Nicklaus, Jerry Pate and Lee Trevino share a laugh on the ninth hole.

At the 1975 Ryder Cup in Pennsylvania, Trevino played his final round tipsy, while Nicklaus lost two singles matches on the same day to a European who was intoxicated.

"You wouldn't even know he had a drink," Nicklaus noted.

The United States had secured enough points for victory that year before the afternoon singles matches on the final day. The format back then called for eight singles matches both in the morning and afternoon. Arnold Palmer was the U.S. captain.

"I'm playing a guy I had never heard of," Trevino said. "His name was Norman Wood. I didn't want to play anymore because I had played every round. Arnie comes and says, 'OK boys, who's first out?' I said, 'Arnie, I don't want to play. Put somebody else in because I'm tired.' He says, 'You're my first choice.' "

Trevino asked the locker room attendant to fetch him a six-pack of Rolling Rock beer.

"I inhaled four of them," Trevino said. "I said, 'Here we go boys.' I go to the first tee. The governor was there. I shook hands with him. I think I missed him the first time."

Trevino trailed by two strokes after nine holes. Palmer greeted him at the turn and asked how he was playing.

"I say, 'I'm doing pretty good, I'm two down,' " Trevino said. "He says wait a minute. He went and got two Rolling Rocks and handed them to me over the fence."

Nicklaus picked up the story from there.

"You lost because you were having too much to drink," he said. "I got beat by a guy twice that day who was drunk."

Nicklaus lost both singles matches to a guy named Brian Barnes, a Scotsman who battled alcoholism as a player but achieved sobriety later in life and remains friends with Nicklaus.

Barnes became a hero in Europe after defeating the great Nicklaus twice that day, even though the United States won 21-11.

"They're still dwelling on this damn thing and it was 400 years ago," Trevino said.

Zing.

Their banter went on for nearly 30 minutes, two legends shooting the bull, as if they were bellied up to a bar and reminiscing about the good old days. Their golf skills have deteriorated, but their ability to entertain an audience remains untouched.

Nicklaus on his golf game: "I played in that [3M] pro-am. I threw an absolute perfect game. A total no-hitter. I never hit one shot on the face of the golf club in 18 holes. I'm sitting there saying, why would anyone want to watch that?"

Trevino on his health problems as a golfer: "Since 1975, I've had four back operations, two steel rollers in my back. I have a steel plate in my throat and I have two steel screws in my left thumb."

Nicklaus: "Well, they certainly didn't screw up your vocal cords."

Nicklaus on the success of the senior golf circuit: "Could you have ever dreamed that 40 years ago? Watching a 70-year-old guy play golf? Come on."

Trevino: "We're to the point where we can hide our own Easter eggs."

Nicklaus: "I never found any of them."

Trevino said he could talk and share stories for hours, but he had a tee time waiting.

"Let's go," he said, jumping out of his chair to stand in front of Nicklaus. "You want to watch my putting stroke? Come on, this is looking good, baby."

He wiggled his hips.

Imagine 18 holes of that byplay.

Chip Scoggins • chip.scoggins@startribune.com