In a donating mood if anyone will accept

Talking to Matt Birk this week made me think about my brain, or lack thereof.

Matt will donate his to a Boston University program that's studying the long-term effects of sports-related brain trauma. In all seriousness, it's an honorable thing to do.

In absolutely no seriousness, I am looking for a university to take mine, preferably years from now. I want future generations to understand the long-term effects of hearing decades of NFL players say, "It is what it is."

Now let's figure out who has, can, will or has tried to donate something in the NFL.

MIN -10 at DET: Vikings by 14

Brett Favre wants to donate his mind. No, he doesn't. Yes, he does. No, he doesn't. Yes, he does.

HOU +6 1/2 at TEN: Titans by 3

NE -4 at NYJ: Patriots by 21

Bill Belichick will donate his rings and the area between his lower back and hamstrings to Rex Ryan's lips.

CIN +9 at GB: Packers by 7

Cheeseheads will donate Chad Ochocinco to the Fred Smoot Memorial Lambeau Leapers Museum.

NO pick at PHI: Saints by 7

CAR +6 1/2 at ATL: Falcons by 3

Panthers coach John Fox will donate Jake Delhomme to the end of his career as a starter about the time new backup A.J. Feeley gets his cable turned on.

STL +10 at WAS: Redskins by 7

Redskins coach Jim Zorn donated his cuddly side to the team by letting TE Chris Cooley play Jay-Z's music during Wednesday's practice. A loss Sunday and it'll be TAPS for Cooley's DJ days.

ARI +3 at JAC: Cardinals by 3

SEA +1 1/2 at SF: Seahawks by 3

49ers coach Mike Singletary is donating all his efforts to running the ball. Hey, they're averaging 30.2 a carry. As in 30.2 inches.

TB +5 at BUF: Bills by 7

Two teenage boys admitted to spray painting Bills KR Leodis McKelvin's front lawn with the words "Learn 2 take a knee." They should be donated to jail for one week and then hired as Bills special teams co-coordinators.

CLE +3 at DEN: Broncos by 7

BAL +3 at SD: Chargers by 3

In their ongoing impersonation of a good team that plays like a bad team, the Chargers tried to donate a win to the Raiders on Monday.

PIT -3 at CHI: Steelers by 7

Somewhere in Houston, Texans backup Rex Grossman has donated the area between his lower back and hamstrings after laughing it off following Cutler's performance in Green Bay.

NYG +3 at DAL: Giants by 7

IND -3 at MIA: Dolphins by 6

According to the NFL, Miami has AFC's heaviest team based on the opening day rosters of all 32 teams. The Dolphins should donate $500 to charity if they can get weighed again without Bill Parcells.

OAK +3 at KC: Raiders 17, Chiefs 14

The Chiefs have donated Turk McBride to the Save the Lions Waiver Wire Fund.

Last week: Buccaneers by 3 over Cowboys.

Upset Special record: 0-1.