On all three legs of the flight from Minneapolis to Florida in early May, David Foley surprised his mother. He never once pulled out his iPod or computer as he always did. Instead, Denise Foley's 21-year-old son talked to her about his girlfriend and his hopes of teaching children with special needs. Mostly, he talked about how proud he was of his big sister, Denae, who was graduating from Palm Beach Atlantic University with a nursing degree.
"We talked the whole time," Denise said Wednesday, seated in the sun room of her Maple Grove home. "That was a real gift."
Less than a day after the family arrived in Florida for a week-long celebration, David, who was born with a rare kidney disorder, died in his sleep. His grieving family pushed forward as best they could.
"The most poignant struggle for me was, how do we celebrate with our daughter and honor the success she worked so hard for?" Denise, a nurse, said softly. "How do we focus on that instead of, 'David's not coming back?'"
David was born in Alaska but grew up in Maple Grove. At 3 he was diagnosed with Bartters Syndrome, which causes severe weakness, fatigue and vomiting. As a little boy, David, the youngest of three children, more than made up for his physical limitations with an active imagination. In kindergarten, David told his classmates that he owned a biting ferret "with extra long nails" and that Michael Jordan was his grandfather. He adored his older brother, Derek, and sister, Denae, playing dolls with her and allowing her to dress him up.
As he grew, though, the burden of not being like other boys troubled him. "He had some normal times, playing baseball and soccer," Denise said, "but any activity that caused him to become dehydrated was life-threatening."
Still, only his closest friends knew about his health issues, which is the way he wanted it. He quietly downed as many as 30 medications a day and took three or four trips a year to the hospital. Sometimes, his buddies would come over to watch a movie and David, rail thin and 6-foot-one, would fall asleep because of his constant fatigue. They'd cover him with a blanket and leave quietly. He couldn't drive either, having to rely on his parents for transportation.
"He felt so bad not being able to do things that a normal 18- or 19-year-old could do," said Courtney Keefe, his girlfriend of four years, who is now studying public relations at the University of St. Thomas. "We did a lot of movies, dinners, simple, low-key things. We made it work. He was my best friend on top of being my boyfriend. I thought he was the one."
