MarQueis Gray strides into the huddle with an all-business air, looks his teammates in the eye, and utters with palpable gravity: "Oprah Winfrey? Or Rosie O'Donnell?"
And that's when you know.
"I saw the goofy MarQueis out there today," tailback Donnell Kirkwood said after Gray accounted for four touchdowns Saturday and directed a 44-7 victory over New Hampshire at TCF Bank Stadium. "It was the playful MarQueis, the having-fun-on-the-field MarQueis. He's good when he's goofy."
And not as good when he's jittery, which was the case at UNLV a week ago. The senior quarterback was calm and capable this time, directing an offense that hadn't scored so many points in regulation since a 63-26 rout of Indiana in 2006. Gray romped 75 yards for one touchdown, outracing three defensive backs to the end zone, and powered his way 11 yards for another score.
And though the Gophers' low-to-the-ground game plan required him to throw only eight passes, he completed six, two of them for touchdowns.
"The goofy MarQueis came out and played football like he knows how to do," Kirkwood said.
So did the Gophers, who got off to their first 2-0 start since 2009 by finally living up to the "Big Ten" patch on their uniforms. Big Ten teams are supposed to rout FCS teams, but not since 2002, and a 42-0 thrashing of Southwest Texas State, had the Gophers enjoyed such a romp over a lower-division opponent.
That the Wildcats turned out to be a pretty good team with FBS-caliber players made the victory even more rewarding. It might not have been easy at all if not for a defensive line that stuffed the run, collapsed the pocket and knocked New Hampshire quarterback Sean Goodrich out only three plays into the Wildcats' first drive because of an unspecified injury. Backup Andy Vailas threw for 158 yards but took four sacks and threw a damaging interception.