It's as if Paul Bunyan himself took the Axe and chopped the Wisconsin Badgers down to size.
The Gophers are 0-11 against Wisconsin since they last defeated the Badgers in 2003, but Saturday will be Minnesota's best chance in years.
The Badgers are 8-3, with the nation's top scoring defense, but they are a shell of themselves offensively. Melvin Gordon is in the NFL, Corey Clement has been hobbled by a sports hernia, and the usually thick offensive line is paper thin.
Northwestern won 13-7 at Camp Randall on Saturday. Clement played, and Wisconsin still rushed for minus-26 yards. That includes six sacks, the last of which knocked Joel Stave from the game.
Of course, it's just the Gophers' luck that this would be the year they have to limp into this rivalry battle, too. They are missing three starters on the offensive line and six key players on defense.
They played better against Wisconsin each year under Jerry Kill, shrinking the losing margin each time: 29, 25, 13 and 10. Last year, the Gophers led 17-3 at Wisconsin, before the Badgers took control in an eventual 34-24 win.
Now, the Gophers (5-6) need a win to become bowl-eligible. It will be Senior Day at TCF Bank Stadium. And Kill will be there for the first time since he retired Oct. 28 for health reasons.
The Gophers had long planned to make this their Epilepsy Awareness Game, so it will have extra meaning for Kill.