Following a political script

TV characters in D.C.? Throughout time, actors have found public service to be a Capitol idea.

April 10, 2009 at 11:27PM

Dr. Lawrence Kutner met an untimely demise this week -- but hey, has anyone ever met a timely demise? -- by committing suicide on "House." Turns out it was a well-timed death, though, as the actor who played Kutner, Kal Penn (right), has a new gig: associate director in the White House office of public liaison.

Working as a conduit between the Obama administration and the arts and Asian-American communities -- or, as he told Entertainment Weekly, "the front door to the White House" -- is quite a transition for someone best known for portraying a stoner in the "Harold & Kumar" movies. It's also quite a cut in pay, said Penn, whose grandparents marched with Gandhi in the Indian independence movement.

Actually, the call to public service is a familiar clarion in the acting world, heeded in the past by the likes of Arnold Schwarzenegger, Fred Thompson, Fred (Gopher) Grandy and some guy named Reagan -- though not by CNN's Sanjay Gupta, who declined an offer to be Obama's surgeon general.

This got us thinking about other D.C. jobs that would be a good fit for TV actors. Or better yet, for the characters they play. Our nominees:

Simon Cowell of "American Idol" as chief justice of the Supreme Court: He would not settle for being a mere justice. He also would institute a chic new dress code: black T-shirts in lieu of black robes.

Comic Book Guy from "The Simpsons" as secretary of state: He's a tough-minded negotiator with gifts for plain-spokenness and sarcasm. Edges out Groundskeeper Willie (secretary of the interior) and Professor Frink (head of NASA) as a "Simpsons" nominee.

Liz Lemon (Tina Fey) of "30 Rock" as presidential press secretary: Her supreme smarts and take-care-of-the-boss-at-all-costs devotion more than offset bouts of thin-skinned insecurity.

Patrick Jane (Simon Baker) of "the Mentalist" as SEC chairman: Psychic abilities would help him nail the financial bad guys before their malfeasance cost the taxpayers any more billions.

Dr. Gregory House (Hugh Laurie) of "House" as Senate minority leader: A combative contrarian who will do anything to get his way? Perfect. Only obstacle: that whole make-your-own-rules penchant.

Patty Hewes (Glenn Close) of "Damages" as director of homeland security: Combining a ruthless, take-no-prisoners approach with compassion for the little guy, she's tough and smart enough to take care of us all.

Hugo "Hurley" Reyes (Jorge Garcia) of "Lost" as secretary of agriculture: Who better to ensure that our crops are fully utilized than a man who maintains his rotund physique while marooned on an island?

Bill Ward • 612-673-7643

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BILL WARD, Star Tribune

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The "winners" have all been Turkeys, no matter the honor's name.

In this photo taken Monday, March 6, 2017, in San Francisco, released confidential files by The University of California of a sexual misconduct case, like this one against UC Santa Cruz Latin Studies professor Hector Perla is shown. Perla was accused of raping a student during a wine-tasting outing in June 2015. Some of the files are so heavily redacted that on many pages no words are visible. Perla is one of 113 UC employees found to have violated the system's sexual misconduct policies in rece