Finding fault at the fair: Think it's easy?

So I'm talking to a guy named Ray at the State Fair about bygone get-togethers, and I get the sense they blur together after a while. Understandable; he's been to more than 100 fairs. Not bad for a civilian -- you work this place for 10 years, you have 10 dozen fair days under your belt, and you see the place differently than most. But to stroll through the gate as a paying customer 100 times takes work. He's been at it for a while. First fair: age 5 ... in 1920. Yes. His fair-attending predates Coolidge.

What's changed? Well, it's easier to get here, for one thing.

"We came in a 1918 Maxwell car down from Aitkin on Highway 65," Ray said. "And I remember when everybody had to get out and push because of the condition of the road. It was that impassable. Not fit for passage!" he grinned. It's nicer now.

What's his favorite thing to do? "I just walk around and enjoy the day."

I forgot to ask what he didn't like. Whether he had a Fair Foul Four. This year the fair ran a promotion asking people to name their Four Fair Faves -- things you dream about all year, like "Corn Dog" or "Feedbag O' Fries" or "Wondering what they would do if the state's fattest hog rolled over on someone" or "Standing outside a radio station's booth looking at the picture of the guy who's actually in the studio today."

Everyone has a fave four. Ask, and you get such wildly divergent responses: You, sir, with the MPR bag and the sandals and the HAYDN SEEK T-shirt, what do you like? "Ah, the twilight on the midway. The fine-art pavilion. The Minnesota Wine Growers exhibit, which is amusing for its presumption, but not a total insult to viticulture." And you, sir, wearing the T-shirt with an unprintable word? "The beer garden, definitely. And that place where they have cheese curds. And beer. Wait, that's the beer garden. Well, that's two, right?"

It's difficult to have a bottom four, unless you have memories of things you did and just do not want to do again. Some personal lowlights:

I wonder if it lost power during the outage the other day. Wonder if any claustrophobes were inside: "SCUSE ME." (Splash.) "COMIN' THROUGH." (Splash, splash.)

2. Prize-winning corn. I know it's part of the state's rich agricultural tradition, but there's never been a Labor Day midnight where I sat upright in bed, thinking: I neglected to check the corn. Maybe if I hit the website they'll have pictures.

3. The Horse Barn. They're beautiful creatures, but a bit aloof, and they're usually face-first in the stall, which means you get row upon row of indifferent equine buttocks. Same to you, pal.

4. The midway skill game where you have to break a plate to win a prize. A great test of manly skill, but it spoils you for those days at home when you drop one doing the dishes and no one steps forward to give you a stuffed SpongeBob.

That said, what have I done this year? Most everything, so far, including the Horse Barn and the prize-winning corn. When we say "bottom faves," it's all relative. Ask Roy. A fella spends 40 years ignoring the corn. Then one day he figures he'll spend the next 40 seeing how it looks this year.