An open letter to the New York Yankees:
I just want to warn you that we Minnesotans have the capability of making you very uncomfortable.
First of all, this is what we like to call a BYOBB city. That's right, you have to bring your own bedbugs. We've got a few annoying beetles, but we, unlike you, keep them out of our sleeping quarters.
Second, when you're cavorting in our ballpark-refurbished Warehouse District, you will not be allowed to throw your refuse on the ground. We Midwesterners keep our trash in tidy containers in our garages; we do not leave large, clear, garbage bags on the curb, like you do. Please take note and act accordingly.
There is even a chance that you, our pinstriped guests, will feel uncomfortable at the ballpark in Minneapolis.
Stop laughing. Just because you've treated the Twins like extras in a mob movie for the past decade doesn't mean past is a prelude. Not necessarily. This time, our pesky Twins might have a chance.
This will be the first time the Twins will have ever enjoyed home-field advantage in a playoff series against you. In 2003 and 2004, the Twins won Game 1, then got swept, losing the last two games of the series in the Metrodome. Last year, the Twins were stretched to a Game 163 and flew to New York smelling of champagne, only to get swept by a better -- and better-rested -- Yankees team, leaving the Twins 2-9 against you Bombers in the playoffs.
But those were the ill-funded, happy-to-be-described-as-underdog Twins. This year, the boys played at Target Field, which funded the first $100 million payroll in franchise history.