Q: You’re meeting someone you’re interested in for drinks, but you’re not sure if it’s a date. How should you proceed?


A: I’m all for being direct and asking if it was a date. But how you ask is important. Be a little flirty, and make sure to smile. You can say something like, “That was really fun! I’d love to do it again sometime.” Pause to see the response. Then add, “Hey, by the way, I’m curious. Was that a date?”

Let’s say the get-together is with someone you work with or have worked with. If you are interested in dating them, you want to let your intentions be known without feeling too vulnerable. Dress for a date, not a work meeting. Keep the conversation focused on topics that are not work-related, such as discussing each other’s passions and dreams. Then, at the end of the evening, if you’re still not sure, pop the question: “Was this our first date?”

SANDY WEINER, dating and relationship coach


A: I suggest that you go on this date without an expectation or agenda. When you go in with an analytical energy, the person you’re meeting can feel this, and it’s an attraction killer.

When you are present and not in your head, you are focused on having fun. You become more relaxed. The person you are meeting will pick up on your attitude. The events of the evening will naturally unfold themselves, and then you will receive your answer on whether it was a date.

SONI AMORA, dating and relationship coach