Commenter Clarence Swamptown will delight you with tales of baseball road trips and places to wet your whistle. As usual, the opinions here on the Twins in the postseason do not necessarily reflect those of RandBall or the Star Tribune. Here we go. Clarence?


Everyone has an opinion on how the Twins should spend their remaining games before the playoffs.  Resting starters, getting everyone healthy,  setting up the playoff rotation, and locking up home field advantage are all important considerations.  Also important, but impossible to formulate, is getting Michael Cuddyer and Delmon Young hot by the end of the season.  Whether the Twins face Tampa or New York, they will face difficult left-handed starting pitchers in the playoffs. Cuddyer and Young are notoriously streaky.  More so than any other positional players, I suspect the biggest factor in the Twins’ playoff success will hinge on where Cuddyer and Young are located on their respective streakiness sine curves. 
* Every summer I go on a Twins road trip with some friends.  This summer we went to Philadelphia , and we are already starting to contemplate where we will go next year.  Because of work and family schedules, our trip is limited to weekends.  One of my friends is a hobnobbing, world-traveling bachelor with airline miles and hotel points to burn, so thankfully airfare and hotel costs are not a concern.  Some cities are out of consideration because we have already been there a few times (Kansas City, Chicago), some of the stadiums are dumps (Oakland, Tampa), and some series are too late in the summer (Cleveland, L.A. Angels, Detroit).  The remaining contenders have been limited to the following cities:  Toronto, Boston, Arizona, and Milwaukee.  Here are some positives and negatives for each trip:
Toronto (April 1-3):
Positives: Chicken wings and Molson 3.0.  That Canadian beer is like moonshine.
Negatives:  Not sure if we’re allowed into Canada. 
Boston (May 6-8):
Positives:  Never been to Fenway. 
Negatives: Early May weather can be suspect, and a rainout would suck.
Arizona (May 20-22):
Positives:  Senior citizens, while slow and dangerous behind the wheel, are usually nice to visiting fans.
Negatives:  Only 365 miles to Tijuana and collectively we lack intelligence/willpower.
Milwaukee (June 24-26):
Positives:  The series coincides with Summerfest (countless music stages and beer vendors mixed with thousands of drunken Wisconsinites).
Negatives:  That glass-encased stadium in late June smells and feels like a lizard solarium at the zoo.
I’ve never been to most of these places, so I would love to hear what city you would choose if given the chance.
* Outstate Bar of the Week:   Jerry’s Bar, Inc. Moorhead, MN (northeast of town, by the Crystal plant). 
What is the bar famous for?  When I was in college, the cool kids in the Fargo-Moorhead area went to cool-kid bars like the Turf, Chub’s, and Old Broadway. As you might imagine, I was not cool by any measure, so I went to Jerry’s.  There was no DJ and there were no beautiful beer-tub girls at the door.  Except for a few grizzled post-shift plant workers, there were no girls at all.  They simply had cheap, strong drinks. 
Can I watch the game there?  Yes.
Can I watch the NASCAR race there?  That’s their specialty.   
Do they have a website?  Nope. 
Are they on Twitter?  No.
Anything else I should know?  After midnight, a half-frozen-half-burnt Pizza Corner Meat Lover’s cooked in a greasy pizza oven by a surly, over-caffeinated bartender always tastes awesome. 
* Please check out the Proprietor’s recent podcast interview on the Davis Sports Deli. 
* If this magazine cover were any more beautiful, I would wrap it in plastic and hide it in the woods like I was 12 again.

* Country & Western Song of the Week: Dear Chicago and The End by Ryan Adams & the Cardinals.
Your thoughts on streakiness, proposed road trip city draws, bar pizza, and that awesome Sports Illustrated cover are welcome in the comments below.