"Chinese Democracy" is the rock 'n' roll answer to the Hummer.
Sonically, it's bigger and beefier than any record needs to be, and it comes fully loaded with bells and whistles. Musically, it's a high-velocity, guttural, bumpy ride. Lyrically and vocally, it's manly, ugly and fierce. And financially, it probably wasn't worth the costs of keeping it running.
In short, the Guns N' Roses opus that took 14 years to complete is a love-it-or-hate-it kind of album. You're going to love it if you don't mind that Axl Rose is the only original member or that some of the songs ("If the World," "Shackler's Revenge") try way too hard to update the band with electronic beats and whirs and staticky vocals, which actually sound more 1998 than 2008. You'll love it if you still enjoy good old-fashioned, heavy metal power ballads ("Catcher in the Rye," "This I Love," both laden with goopy piano). You'll hate it if you want your rock 'n' roll to offer subtlety or humility, or vocals and guitar solos that don't try to shriek your ears off.
For more reasons than nostalgia -- such as pure and simple songwriting -- the best tracks sound like classic GNR. There's some great "Welcome to the Jungle"-sized guitar thunder and fine howling by Axl in "Riad N' the Bedouins," one of the angriest songs lyrically ("Nomads and barbarians/ I won't bend my will to them"). The dramatic "Street of Dreams" deserves to be a "November Rain"-style crossover pop hit. The best track, "Better," offers the perfect balance of old GNR grime and new Axl polish.
Is it good enough to make Rose rock's biggest star again? No, but "Chinese Democracy" should keep him from being its biggest punch line.
CHRIS RIEMENSCHNEIDER
