At Charlie's Steak, Ribs & Ale, just off the famous 76 Country Boulevard in Branson, Mo., a prime cut of New York strip steak can be procured for an eye-popping $12.99, about the cost of a typical side dish at a steakhouse in New York City. And at Charlie's, your hunk of cow comes not only with your choice of potato and coleslaw but also with the song stylings of Rebecca Dawn.
Dawn, whose optimistic name hopefully steels her against the challenges of what must be a very tough gig, wanders solo around the tables, wireless microphone in hand and pretaped track at her back, knocking out country ditties and dispensing signed photos and bonhomie for all. She has sung with such blue-chip Branson names as Mickey Gilley and the late Boxcar Willie; now she sings alongside Charlie's Caesar salad.
She is a lot better than she should be, and she is the kind of act you find only in Branson. This tourist town has grown up out of the determination of a group of community-minded musical entertainers who wanted to get off the road and raise families where every attraction is suitable for all ages and where no one blinks an eye when you mention God and country.
It seems there isn't a show in this hospitable town that doesn't salute military veterans and acknowledge the Almighty. And this town has many shows, typically at entertainer-owned or entertainer-leased venues.
The Haygoods' show is in its 21st season, which must mean these fiddling siblings started when they were about 9. Their final rousing number segues seamlessly into the last few measures of the "Star-Spangled Banner," ensuring a standing ovation every time. If you're an urban liberal who resists that sort of thing, perhaps Branson is not your town. Or perhaps you are just forgetting that a vacation should mean you open your mind to a different set of values in a world of shared natural beauty.
Zipping through the Ozarks
Dawn is not the only unique offering in this atypical corner of Missouri, currently ablaze with the colors of fall and the low hum of invading groups of senior citizens.
If the mood strikes, you can zip through all those leaves at the fun, customer-centered Branson Zipline (choose the Blue Streak Fast Line and Free Fall Xpress package for the quickest thrill). I watched a woman who declared herself close to 70 take full advantage of technology permitting an extreme drop, a system developed to train military personnel to jump out of planes. Those of us who watched her jump from the platform for the 100-foot free fall into the abyss were terrified on her behalf, but the fearless woman hit the soft floor with ease, throwing her head back with a hearty laugh while ending up in the open arms of a handsome young staffer.
Over at Silver Dollar City, a folksy, reasonably priced theme park with pathways and attractions threaded through the Ozark Mountains, they've come up with Outlaw Run.