I inherited a Bavarian cuckoo clock this year. At first I dismissed it as kitsch, something to stash in the basement next to a few deflated piñatas and some Moroccan slippers. But then the clock struck the hour, the cuckoo dove out from a carved whorl of leaves, and the bird's popeyed, beaky face earned my affection; it was a model of soulful charm.
I thought of the clock when I arrived in Munich this November, just as the Christmas markets opened, the sky turned fat with snow, and strings of lights brightened everything. There are hipper places to go for the holidays. Actually, just about any place is hipper. But if you are itchy for the Old World romance of Christmas, something as childlike and traditional as that cuckoo, then Bavaria — the sprawling southern region of Germany that embraces the Romantic Road, the capital of Munich, and a slice of the Alps — is a good place to be.
The traditionalism is deep-seated. "Starting in the 19th century the region just held fast to its own cultural identity, like a bulwark against modernity," local historian Susanna Waldorf told me during my first morning in Munich. "And today Munich, the real heart of Bavaria, is still a conservative city; shops close on Sunday and no skyscrapers are allowed and young people are wearing lederhosen and dirndls again, and playing traditional music and eating regional food. Hipsters go to Berlin; we stay here."
All that Teutonic patriotism was immediately visible at our first seasonal stop in town. Christmas markets pop up all over Munich — armies of nutcrackers surfacing everywhere — but I opted for the most intimate one in the courtyard of the Residenz palace. It was as much a fantasia of the ultimate Bavarian village as simple market. The sprawl of wooden, steep-roofed huts, strung with white lights, hawked every Christmas-goes-German icon: mulled wine; gingerbread heart cookies; dirndls and Alpine hats; and a dizzying variety of bratwurst (the pale veal ones were best).
There were Christmas concerts playing all over town. The brats tasted like a promise of something more, and I ended up at Spatenhaus an der Oper, a classic restaurant (deer heads on the wall! waitresses in dirndls!) that puts on a holiday feast every day of the year.
Bavarian cuisine too often gets dismissed as a leaden duet of starch and blistered meat, with a side of more starch. But, in fact, the Teutonic menu celebrates just about every indulgent food you want to eat and, when they are cooked right, even boulder-sized dumplings can taste downright delicate (and to my surprise a lot like my mom's matzoh balls).
Spatenhaus makes the case handily. I plowed through a Wiener schnitzel wearing a buttery batter, a sauerbraten robed in the most seductive gingery sauce, and a roast duck wrapped in crackling skin. My waiter wasn't satisfied though. "Next time get the Bavarian Platter," he told me. "That includes duck, pork knuckles, suckling pig, grilled white sausages, red cabbage, and potato and bread dumplings."
That sense of abundance, something you want out of Christmas, only grew the next day. I was staying at the city's grande dame, the Bayerischer Hof Hotel, which ignores any hint of stylish minimalism and goes for pure, unabashed euro opulence. My room was an ode to chintz and marble, the lounge dished up high tea and a mammoth gingerbread house, the penthouse spa looked regally out over the city, and the porters were wearing top hats.