Battle of the bartenders

"I wouldn't want to chase this shot," rocker Mark Mallman said to a contestant during a recent Iron Bartender match at Hell's Kitchen.

That may be one of the best compliments a competitor will get during this eight-week Twin Cities mixology battle. As the name suggests, Iron Bartender is inspired by the Food Network's "Iron Chef," where superstar chefs go head to head, quickly whipping up complex dishes for a panel of judges.

Mallman was talking about a Mexican mole sauce-inspired shot crafted by a duo from Uptown's Chiang Mai Thai. That bartending team is one of 16 in a wide field of competitors, some hailing from the scene's best cocktail bars, such as Bradstreet and the Town Talk Diner. The tournament-style matches started May 2 and will take place every Sunday at Hell's Kitchen until a winner is crowned in the June 20 finale.

The rules are simple. Contestants have just 20 minutes to make three drinks: a martini, a cocktail and a shot. The twist, of course, is the revealing of a mysterious secret ingredient. At the battle I watched, the secret ingredient was -- drum roll, please -- coconut. (Octopus wasn't available, I guess.)

The Chiang Mai team, John Fuller and Joe Price, went against a duo from the upscale Mexican restaurant Masa. As the round began, Fuller and Price sped through a quick brainstorming session and then went to work, grabbing raw chocolate, various peppers, rum and coconut from the table of ingredients. Of the three drinks they created, the spicy kick of the mole sauce-inspired shot propelled them to the win.

"You can bartend for 10 years, but when you get put on the spot in front of a bunch of people, it can be a little nerve-racking," Fuller said afterward.

Iron Bartender goes to Hell

Veteran bartender Christopher Greenfield took the reins this year, bringing Iron Bartender to his home base at Hell's Kitchen. It's turned out to be a perfect place for such a competition. The restaurant's elevated stage makes it especially good for cocktail fans who just want to watch. (The restaurant is already thinking about doing another one in the fall.)

One of the scene's best party DJs, Shannon Blowtorch, keeps the crowd grooving with her eclectic (yet nuanced) mix of everything from hip-hop to Motown to Balkan dance music. Don't be surprised if a dance party follows the show.

Like "Iron Chef," the competition has a charismatic host, Nadine Dubois of Lili's Burlesque (in her absence, Ian Rans of "Drinking With Ian," has filled in). The judges range from rockers like Mallman to such Twin Cities cocktail gurus as Johnny Michaels.

The rules regarding each bartender's arsenal have been changed this year. In the first round, the bartenders must come with nothing but their skills. Hell's Kitchen provides them with a buffet table filled with liquor bottles, simple syrups, cordials and bitters, plus a pile of produce. Eggplant, anyone? The bartenders are allowed to bring their own stock in later rounds.

Two words: purple mangosteen

I've heard rumblings from some people within the cocktail intelligentsia who question whether great cocktailing is possible in such a speed-focused contest. Greenfield said he understands such reservations, but thinks Iron Bartender will surprise naysayers.

"It's true that there is a lot of time that goes into making a craft cocktail," he said. "But in last year's competition, [the bartenders] made some of the most innovative cocktails I've ever seen. And I'm talking from scratch."

Fair enough. I had one concern. Shouldn't the audience get a taste of the action? It's like torture watching these bartenders concoct amazing drinks, only to have the judges slurp them dry.

Greenfield said he felt the same way (he's usually tending bar in the back of the room). So starting Sunday, he's remedied the situation: Hell's Kitchen will have a special featuring the most popular winning cocktail from the previous week.

Cheers to that.