Dear Amy: My fiancé and I are getting married this fall. We will NOT be postponing the wedding.

Our venue is assuring us that we are on track and that our guest list of 150 will be allowed into the venue by then.

It’s getting close to the time when we have to mail invitations, and I’m worried about what to do if the social gathering restrictions tighten again before the wedding.

If that happens, how do we possibly disinvite only some of the guests? Is there any tactful way to do this?

Amy says: First of all, give me the name of your venue’s manager — this person seems to possess more insight into the movement of this global pandemic than the CDC.

My point is, it seems foolhardy to make any specific assumptions about larger gatherings scheduled for this fall. You should understand this, and you should urge your guests to also understand — and to be prepared for the possibility that your plans could change radically, with relatively little notice.

I suggest a note included with your invitation, saying, “Due to the pandemic, we are forced to face the possibility that our plans may have to change, with relatively short notice, and that we might have to substantially truncate our guest list, due to local restrictions. We promise to do our best to keep in touch with all of you. The health and safety of all of our guests will always come first. Don’t hesitate to contact us if you have questions, and — fingers crossed — we will be able to celebrate together.”

It is not “tacky” to be honest and authentic. Your wedding gift to your guests will be to care, deeply, about their health and safety.

Zooming into employment

Dear Amy: Following up with the reader who had questions about interviewing for a job remotely, I won my current job through two Zoom interviews.

A few things to consider:

Organize your notes so you’re not shuffling them to find your point. I like 4-by-6 index cards.

Dress like you’re interviewing in person.

If Zooming, put together your setup and Zoom someone in advance to tweak the lighting, where the computer is and your general appearance.

I’m 65, so don’t tell yourself you can’t do this.

Be positive and present yourself with the best tool in your arsenal — you!

Amy says: You’re my hero!


Send Ask Amy questions via e-mail to Amy Dickinson at or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.