Ask Amy: Becoming parent a leap of faith

Dear Amy: I'm at the age where most of my friends are having children, and my wife and I are considering having kids.

I realize that no one can predict the type of child they will get. Sometimes I want children, and other times I think of myself arguing with a teenager and I'm terrified.

How can anyone know if they would be a good parent or if they would enjoy it?

Amy says: Parenting is a great leap into the unknown. You can never know in advance what your child's temperament will be like, or what health issues might arise that could greatly refocus your life.

I do think that some people are oriented toward children. They see children as fascinating and try mightily to connect with them. But other adults only discover their capacities once they have children of their own.

Many people experience a genuine shift once they have children — compassion deepens and their capacities expand in response to a child's vulnerability. Plus, babies are entrancing, young children are hilarious and adolescents fill your life with intrigue.

No one looks forward to arguing with a teenager, and yet, most parents manage to get through this phase because they've grown enough as people to push up their sleeves and wade in.

Keep in mind that when it comes to parenting, you are never "done." To paraphrase a line from the great movie, "Parenthood," even after surviving toddlerhood and teenage tantrums, parents never get to spike the ball.

Dear Amy: During the summer I work as a housekeeper at rental cabins.

If the guests are staying multiple nights, I visit the cabin while they are out and make the beds, replenish the coffee, condiments, soaps, replace used towels and remove the garbage. If there is a kitchen with dirty dishes, I will wash those, even though there is a posting that they are responsible for leaving the dishes clean upon departure.

Oftentimes the cabin looks like a bomb went off. I do the best I can. I figure they are on vacation and have better things to do than clean.

I take pride in my work. More often than not, I receive no gratuity. I do not spruce up the cabins only to receive a tip, but because I rarely see the guests, this is one way they can show their appreciation.

Amy says: My theory is that anyone who has ever worked in the service sector tips generously. I'm happy to remind everyone to do the same.