The diner, as always, is a dive in the desert.
There's always a broad slice of humanity in it.
And then these mismatched folks -- young and old, rich and poor -- face real terror and must band together to survive. Because here come the zombies. Or vampires. Or vampire bikers.
But in "Legion," the assaulting hordes are demons and angels from heaven. And these angels and their spawn aren't taking any prisoners. God's given up on the human race and is ready to wipe us out. Again.
Profane, profanely silly and blasphemous to beat the band, "Legion" begins well, then plunges into the abyss of tedium. For a few minutes, the cast and crew of the most preposterous movie of the new year recognize it as preposterous and play along. Actors gape in terror and awe as the skies darken and the biblical Apocalypse begins, with bugs and people possessed by angels converging on the Paradise Falls diner in the Mojave Desert.
Dennis Quaid, Lucas Black, Adrianne Palicki and others yell "What the hell is this?' as hell rains down on them. Charles S. Dutton shouts, "I gotta get my Bible. Somebody's got to start praying!"
And then the angel Michael -- played by Paul Bettany and not John Travolta this time -- shows up, fresh from whacking off his wings, robbing a Los Angeles gun shop and stealing an LAPD patrol car. He's locked and loaded. And he's on humanity's side.
"It's started. There isn't much time."
