I have no idea if it will or won't; just wanted to put down a marker for saying something stupid about an Apple product that doesn't exist. FIRST! 

We don't know if they're making one,  but someone took a picture of a black car with cameras, and Apple owns it, so.   As this article notes, Apple doesn’t have the permission to test self-driving cars, but could be working with someone who does. It’s not an absurd idea, but it goes against the stupid “Apple can’t innovate” idea - unless you subscribe to the theory that Apple buying other companies is proof they can’t invent anything. (A reminder: Apple bought the company that came up with an MP3 jukebox, and released it as iTunes. Back in the day when they were innovating EVERYTHING and inventing new products every fortnight.) If they do make a self-driving car, it’ll probably come out a few years after Google’s version, and then we’ll bring the wonderful, joyous world of meaningless flame wars about operating systems to cars. But why read me on the matter when you can enjoy the Macalope? The master of the Apple-Troll Dismantlement.

BOOKS About that “To Kill a Mockingbird” sequel, Jezebel notes:

This news is not without controversy or complications. Harper Lee's sister Alice Lee, who ferociously protected Harper Lee's estate (and person) from unwanted outside attention as a lawyer and advocate for decades, passed away late last year, leaving the intensely private author (who herself is reportedly in ill health) vulnerable to people who may not have her best interests at heart.

And this matters, because:

Tonja Carter, Harper Lee's attorney since Alice Lee retired at the age of 100, acknowledges that the author—who was left forgetful and nearly blind and deaf after a stroke in 2007—often doesn't understand the contracts that she signs. "Lee has a history of signing whatever's put in front of her, apparently sometimes with Carter's advice," Gawker's Michelle Dean reported last July.

PASTTIMES Meet the guy who’s made 45,000 Wikipedia edits to change one phrase! In other words, take an amusing Onion brief, extract the humor, and voila, real life.

OR: Meet the guy who chopped off his nose and had stuff put in his head so he can look like the Red Skull, Captain America’s nemesis. Warning: you will see a guy who chopped off his nose and had stuff put in his head so he can look like the Red Skull.

OR: Meet the guy who made a model of Pompeii with 190K Lego pieces. Sorry, LEGO pieces.

OR: Catch up with the Quaids! Remember them? Key moment:

“Finally, in a bizarre conclusion, Quaid muses: 'So how do we retaliate? Well, I still have a few tricks too.’

He opens his blazer to show a Hawaiian shirt: 'This is the very same shirt that I wore in '94 when I saved the world [in Independence Day] - another act that Rupert Murdoch still hasn't thanked me for. 

As the article notes, it’s possible that Quaid thinks “Independence Day” really happened.

VOTD Happy dancing light poles.