Anybody seen Big Ten game we used to love?

Tubby Smith's Gophers have an extra-large game tonight at Illinois. A victory would give the Gophers a two-game sweep of the Illini for the first time since 1978 and basically lock up a place in the NCAA tournament bracket.

Yeah, this is such compelling stuff that I hope to once or twice make it from one TV timeout to the next without screaming at the set: "Where in the names of Bobby Jackson and Kendall Gill has our hair-raising, palm-sweating winter entertainment gone?"

The Big Ten made a declaration in 1976 that it was the nation's preeminent basketball conference when unbeaten Indiana defeated Michigan in the NCAA title game.

There were seasons after that when the Big Ten belonged in the argument as to the "best conference," and there were seasons when it was overrated.

Jim Delany became the Big Ten's commissioner in 1989. He soon earned a berth on the NCAA tournament selection committee and became its chairman. He used that political power to help maintain the league's mystique of excellence and depth through the '90s.

The commissioner did make a tactical blunder in 1999. He signed on for an ACC-Big Ten Challenge that would be carried by ESPN. Delany's conference now stands 0-10 in the yearly challenge and 35-62 in games.

Mysteriously, the computer that spits out the NCAA's Ratings Percentage Index decided in November and December that the Big Ten was loaded this winter.

This week, the Big Ten remains the No. 2 conference in the country, behind the ACC.

How out of whack is this computer? The Illinois team that the Gophers visit tonight stands No. 16 in RPI. This is a team that scored 36 points in Williams Arena at the end of January, and came back soon thereafter to score 33 points on its home court against Penn State.

Illinois, No. 16? Sometimes, you must ignore the lyin' computer and believe your truth-tellin' eyes.

"I've watched Illinois five times, maybe more, and I don't know what they are trying to do on offense," Jim Dutcher said. "They wheel the ball around on the outside over and over again. Nobody is trying to beat anybody.

"They have [Trent] Meacham, maybe the best shooter in the league, and he doesn't shoot. They don't do anything to get him shots."

Dutcher is a kindly fellow and not known for controversial remarks. He came to the Big Ten as a Michigan assistant in 1972. He coached the Gophers from 1975 to 1986. He has since followed his conference as a TV analyst and a fan.

"I don't watch every college basketball game ESPN has to offer," Dutcher said. "If I'm home and UConn's playing Pitt, I'll watch that. And I turn on the Big Ten games."

He paused and said: "It can get hard to watch. The coaches want to say the low scores come from great defense, but I don't know. I see good teams in other leagues go after each other defensively and have enough scorers to make it 87-83.

"In the Big Ten, 60 is a winning score."

Thirty-eight was the winning score for Penn State in Assembly Hall, and now the Gophers are advertising a visit to that same arena as an enormous challenge.

Those of us insisting a loss tonight should go down as another road flop can point out that none of the Gophers squads compiling those 20 consecutive losses had the privilege of facing Illinois with the current team's potential for putrid offense.

"With the type of players they always have at Illinois, not getting to 40 points twice in a short time ... that's unbelievable," Dutcher said.

You're right, Coach, but here's the good news:

If you had watched Todd Lickliter's Iowa Hawkeyes as often this winter as you have Illinois, the world's finest ophthalmologists wouldn't be able to repair the eye damage.