Alexis on the Sexes: The new gay

Q: I just moved to the Twin Cities and am starting to get to know the gay scene. I have been here for Pride in the past and am familiar with the bigger clubs like the Saloon and Gay '90s. I work more than 50 hours per week, but in my limited free time I am starting to explore other gay bars. Are some clubs better for meeting eligible men than others? Also, I have an iPhone equipped with Grindr, but there doesn't seem to be that many guys online, or at least not as many as I was hoping for. Has this app just not caught on as fast in the Twin Cities?

A: First things first, welcome to the Twin Cities! You've attended our impressive Pride festival, so you already know that gay culture is embraced here. Our gay scene is as varied and vibrant as anywhere else in the country, despite that natural Midwestern tendency to stay just a little bit subdued. That quiet Scandinavian disposition could be what keeps some gay boys off of Grindr; not everyone wants to be on full display all the time, much less allow everyone else to know where they are at all times.

Grindr is a nifty, new-ish iPhone app developed by the same guys who gave us Gay.com and Manhunt.com. A cross between a dating site and Foursquare, Grindr uses the iPhone's GPS to allow gays to find other gays nearby, often measured in a matter of feet. You can see thumbnail photos of handsome boys, check out their short bios and proximities to your location, chat with the ones that look interesting and coordinate face-to-face meetings. Android users can find a similar app for their phones; just search for "Encountr." I've seen Grindr in action and it's pretty impressive, whether you're looking for a happy hour buddy at 3 p.m. on a Tuesday or a something-else buddy at 3 a.m. on a Saturday. My guess is you're going to see a lot more eligible men online Thursday through Saturday, since most nine-to-fivers tend to go out more often on the weekends.

As far as meeting eligible guys, no bar is going to be better than the next, because you never know how or when you're going to meet someone you really dig. Instead of trying to figure out the perfect place to find the perfect man, explore every place you're curious about and get to know the clientele. Tickles in downtown Minneapolis is a laid-back fun option, with weekly theme nights that include Wii bowling tournaments and live piano sing-alongs. For a cool lounge experience, head to Jetset, where DJs spin your favorites and patrons tip back martinis in all colors of the rainbow. Another sleek bar is Lush in northeast Minneapolis, living up to its name with specials like Free Drink Fridays and Dollar Drink Wednesdays, not to mention some very sexy DJs.

If unwinding with a book is more your style, order a bottle of wine, a small plate or two and grab a seat by the fireplace at Wilde Roast Cafe. For pool, darts and pitchers of beer, the one and only 19 Bar in downtown Minneapolis is where it's at. It's the oldest gay bar in the Twin Cities, proudly offering "an alternative to the disco and drag."

Over in St. Paul, the Town House in Midway is good cheap fun that involves dancing and, often, drag queens. Downtown St. Paul is home to Camp, a classy, multi-room establishment with a creative cocktail menu. Innuendo in Lowertown has a friendly pub environment where everyone should feel welcome, and the adjoined Rumours dance club is open until 3 a.m. on weekends.

Don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone, and by that I mean bars and restaurants that aren't necessarily labeled as GLBT. After all, the Twin Cities isn't just gay-friendly, we're actually pretty gay: Minneapolis has the nation's fourth-highest percentage of GLBT adults. Welcome to our club.